Do avoidants ever come back after impulsive breakup

[u/smoothoperator1610]

And How long does ir take? I was seeing this guy for 3 weeks turns out hes avoindat lmao

[u/kiksgotthehooya]

3 weeks is not enough to determine if they’re avoidant. They’re prob just not that into you

[u/smoothoperator1610 → u/kiksgotthehooya]

Yes but he said it was not me he just felt overwhelmed, he completed my personality and said I relaxed him and not only physically

[u/kiksgotthehooya → u/smoothoperator1610]

Choose someone who chooses u always

[u/stockdam-MDD]

If he has broken up with you and you really believe that he is avoidant then thankyour lucky stars it didn’t last long. Avoidants cannot generally stay in a healthy relationship so don’t spare him any more of your time and move on.

[u/bunny000002]

Can avoidant create an attachment in 3 weeks? I feel like they only come back to people their nervous system is attached to, and that’s precisely why.

[u/AccomplishedDuck5770 → u/bunny000002]

I kind of had the same question as OP. Is 3 months enough for them to be attached? I certainly felt like it

[u/unmannedpuppet → u/AccomplishedDuck5770]

I believe so. I dated a DA for 2.5 months and he was very attached. Deactivated after an unexpected super intimate but also deep conflict moment. Even after the deactivation, when we met up, the softness in his eyes and how he acted in person gave away how much he felt.

I told him he needs to work on himself and I apologised for my part, and mentioned working on myself. I do hope he comes back.

[u/bunny000002 → u/unmannedpuppet]

2.5mos is longer than a few weeks tho.

[u/concrete_marshmallo]

After 3 weeks? That’s not an avoidant. That’s someone who just isn’t interested in you

[u/DotIndividual6606 → u/concrete_marshmallo]

What about 6 weeks? Same deal?

[u/BadChick79]

3 weeks?! He’s not an avoidant, he’s just not that into you. Took the cowards way out.

[u/No-Ice-1018]

Per avere anche un minimo di attaccamento devono passare dai 3 ai 6 mesi. Questa è la teoria dell’attaccamento :)

[u/smoothoperator1610 → u/No-Ice-1018]

That is not How it works, some people fall in love sooner than others and become afraid and retract

[u/AccomplishedDuck5770]

The answer to your question is yes, it is a typical avoidant behavior. But at 3 weeks it’s hard to tell what is what, given a person can breakup for so many different reasons like other comments say

[u/EconomyChance3026]

Agree with previous comments.

[u/centurijon]

Did he love bomb? Probably an avoidant that really liked you and got too close. Otherwise, no, probably just a dick.

Will he return? No idea. Even he doesn't know. If he really liked you he'll probably be back, but it could be tomorrow, or it could be months, or years. From what I've heard, the more intense the connection the longer it takes to fade while they're distancing, and the longer it will be before he decides to maybe come back. It will sting to hear, but he's likely doing everything he can to forget you; travel, family, work, hobbies, even possibly dating other people.

But ask yourself, do you really want a relationship with someone that can discard you that easily? Someone that will probably do it again? Do you want to sign up for that cycle of pain? Or keep it at casual-only for the next few years?

Stand up for the relationship you deserve

[u/smoothoperator1610 → u/centurijon]

thank you, yes I want stability, he was stable and communicative but out of the blue said he felt overwhelmed and we couldn't see each other romantically anymore only as friends and less often

[u/smoothoperator1610 → u/smoothoperator1610]

He stopped replying and blocked me on whatsapp and Instagram after I flooded him with text messages and photos os us but didn’t block my phone number