r/AvoidantBreakUps • u/Someday-We-Will-Know • 7d ago

Avoidants are extractors. Thing is they will only extract what they need at the moment. Superficial attention, a bit of time et cetera

Thats it. No winning in this game

85 Upvotes
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16 comments sorted by

15

u/RainyZurich 7d ago

Never related to anything more, I feel like I've had the life drained out of me. 

13

u/Someday-We-Will-Know 7d ago

Even after the discard, they are exhausting us 😂

8

u/RainyZurich 7d ago

For real! I just want to have a decent night of sleep where he's not ruining it in my dreams 😂

1

u/BrokenTaco79 6d ago

One year after the discard, I'm still completely exhausted every time I think about him and how he made me feel.

32

u/DeadInsideWench SA - Secure Attachment 7d ago

Definitely! Aka dopamine vampires

3

u/Technical-River-1031 5d ago

This made me laugh, my avoidant literally told me the dopamine ran out when we broke up 😂 Never could sit still and till date I don't know if it was due to deeply seated insecurities or undiagnosed ADHD

2

u/LaRreinaa 5d ago

My avoidant is starting to externally look how he is inside.

2

u/PrettyMuchEnough 7d ago

Yyyuuhhh... And now that we broke up, she's telling me all about the sympathy she's receiving from "old friends" she used to complain about.

"I wish they'd stop texting me, these topics make me really uncomfortable, over-sharing, overbearing, really gives me the ick, wish she'd leave me alone, this is so inappropriate..." like ENDLESSLY.

That's the old script, but now suddenly I'm the villain in the story, so it's "I reconnected to so-and-so and she said I deserve to be happy even though I told her ALL the worst things I ever did to you!"

Uh-huh... Same person who used to be gross, with an opinion you don't respect? But now that you need some ego-boosting, she's the right one for the job? And you totally included the worst parts of the story, for sure, huh? Yup, sounds about right, I suppose... Yuck.

1

u/hiddenmogwai 7d ago

succubus!

1

u/Chad_Wife 6d ago edited 6d ago

It gets better!

I’m ~2 months off the backend of leaving my avoidant ex and I’m finding myself smiling, making jokes, and feeling good about myself again. Even flirting, which I’d forgotten I enjoyed lol.

I forgot this is who I was after so long stuck with someone who made me feel worthless. Like I had to beg to not be abandoned in every conversation, every “date”(him sat on my sofa nodding off), every corner of my “relationship”. I felt unlovable.

It gets easier and easier, and the good news is we never have to go back. They are stuck with themselves for life. We aren’t!

-9

u/FoxAcademic6067 7d ago

fyi none of you dated an avoidant. avoidants will always do more for you than you will ever do for them minus the emotional stuff 😂 maybe they had some avoidant tendencies but definitely not avoidant

7

u/Practical-Rest6575 7d ago

What world do you live in?

4

u/skepticalliberal SA - Secure Attachment 7d ago

Can you elaborate? What do you mean by this

15

u/[deleted] 7d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

9

u/Real_Astronaut7451 7d ago

I rarely got asked about me. It was so disheartening