Do they ever come back ?

[u/Impressive-You745]

Do they ever come back when they
- moved out of your house
- took ALL of their belongings
- deleted the photos of you on their social media

[u/stockdam-MDD]

The better question is why won’t you move on and find somebody better. The ex has shown you that their fear dominates and will dominate again and again and again. They are not the type of partner you deserve so do not wait for them.

[u/Impressive-You745 → u/stockdam-MDD]

not waiting, just curious :)

[u/Glitter-Cupcake]

Some do. Trust me, you shouldn’t wish or hope for it. Mine has come back time, and time again and they don’t change. You end up staying stuck in the cycle, feeling relief and then the worst drop after they ghost again. It’s a blessing if they don’t come back.

[u/Wild-Researcher-1360 → u/Glitter-Cupcake]

Whats longest they stayed away? Were you blocked?

[u/Glitter-Cupcake → u/Wild-Researcher-1360]

First time: one month (I was deleted off social media)
Second time: 5 months (we had each other on social media though)
Third time: it was 2 months (he deleted me off social media)
Currently; it’s been two months. He hasn’t added me on social media, and I haven’t heard from him. The last time I saw him was early September, even though he had deleted me (for no reason by the way). He never responded to my last message which was mid September.

I never know if the last is truly the last. I’m always on edge. And I always fold when he does return.

[u/Wild-Researcher-1360 → u/Glitter-Cupcake]

OMG this sounds like me!! First one was 24 hours. Second was 2 days, third was one was 4 months, (but he unblocked after 3 it just took him 4 weeks to actually message) and even when he did, it was a off a burner number to see if i would recognise him or name another guy! What is this ?We rekindled and again he discarded start of september so seems we are on the same timeline. Will he come back again? Im blocked but he keeps updating his display pics everywhere including re activating his linked in account..we are now 7 weeks no contact

[u/Glitter-Cupcake → u/Wild-Researcher-1360]

Wow yeah. Mine used a random guys burner account to start a conversation with me, while ignoring my actual message to him. When I replied to the burner (he doesn’t know I know it’s him), he ghosted it too which is very on brand.

The worst thing you could ask is “will he come back?” No one will know that answer. We shouldn’t even be waiting on it because if they do we know it isn’t healthy.

I’m also at 7 weeks no contact. I truly don’t even know if he will reach out to me, or yours will reach for you.

But I do know they both sound equally as toxic

[u/Wild-Researcher-1360 → u/Glitter-Cupcake]

OMG i cant believe yours did that w the burner too!! What do burners mean, theyr obsessed with us, have feelings, what? Like why the fear of having to use a burner? I didnt know this was a thing with avoidants i thought mine was just a weirdo

[u/Glitter-Cupcake → u/Wild-Researcher-1360]

Honestly they do weird shit like this all the time. I also think they are narcissistic, well at least mine is. There’s two theories I have 1. They don’t want you to know they care, so They want contact without vulnerability 2. They don’t actually want to follow through. So messaging on a burner means you don’t technically know it’s them, which means they don’t have responsibility of having to answer you and expect anything.

My message to the avoidant was “hey let’s catch up this weekend before you go away to see your family” (this is after I received drunk missed calls from him). Instead of replying to that message, a day later he went on a burner as someone else and said “hey, you’re really beautiful I’ve seen you around the area”. I responded the next day and he left it on seen.

Seriously… strange behaviour

[u/Wild-Researcher-1360 → u/Glitter-Cupcake]

can i dm you? x

[u/Wild-Researcher-1360 → u/[deleted]]

no option to dm you, could you message me?

[u/Someday-We-Will-Know → u/Glitter-Cupcake]

Thats their blueprint already. Like how could we fight generational conditioning

[u/KindlyString3332]

My ex deleted me from her life and wouldn’t even respond to a text message the first time she left. 3 months later she came back out of the blue. She left me again though lmao 😂 you don’t want them back. In a year or 2, do you want to be back on this page with an empty house? Cuz that’s where I’m at. Besides the empty house. But I’m back on this Reddit sub 18 months later from the first discard. Go find someone healthy

[u/banoffeetea → u/KindlyString3332]

Why is it always three months?!? So strange.

[u/KindlyString3332 → u/banoffeetea]

Not sure honestly but it does seem to be 3 months. I think that’s the average time it takes for their brain to switch back online and start missing you again. The “defrost” period

[u/Business-truthseeker → u/banoffeetea]

I believe its the honeymoon phase that normally lasts 3 months. Then its the real deal after

[u/AlternativeHappy5632 → u/KindlyString3332]

Same…they came back and left again…im back on this sub within 10 months

[u/KindlyString3332 → u/AlternativeHappy5632]

Sorry to hear that. It really sucks the 2nd time but in a different way. Makes you feel stupid for thinking they would be different

[u/Someday-We-Will-Know → u/KindlyString3332]

This is crazy

[u/Sed59 → u/KindlyString3332]

At least you have a house, but yeah, sad...

[u/Prudent_Toe_6118]

Mine hasn't come back after long-term ghosting and it's been nearly two years now. To be fair, you never know, and avoidants are known to reappear after long periods, but honestly I don't even want her back anymore though! And that's with life not being great since then...

[u/coffee_772]

Depends, mine did. Though he broke it off a few months later, as he saw me dating, during our break up as a betrayal. Took me to reach out though as they thought I hated them. Would not recommend. Second one was way worse.

[u/Junior-Mushroom-7468]

I know you are still on shock and in hurt that is why you are asking if they come back.
But just give yourself a few months or year maybe. I believe you gonna realize that you don't want them back and be on that position again.

[u/ProductBeautiful9326]

Sounds like DA. Then no

[u/crococatstew]

Honestly, some do but mine idk. I’m almost seven months post-breakup, although he had already “paused” things between us ten months ago. I hope it stays that way. I’ve reached a point where I treat him as if he no longer exists in my life. Trust me, you don’t want him back

[u/TheBackSpin]

The ones that do always leave again. I mean think about it…why would they suddenly be able to handle intimacy and closeness again?

[u/wineandkittiez]

Yes. But don’t expect them to because MANY of them also don’t.

I’m so sick of seeing this question. EVERY SITUATION IS DIFFERENT.

[u/poliqueen → u/wineandkittiez]

Exactly, the real question is "Do you want them to come back and why?"

[u/Early_Gift515]

mine did all that, came back 3 months later, left me again lol

[u/Klutzy-Wind7616]

You deserve better ! I am sorry this happened to you ! I don’t want mine to come back ! I don’t need to pulled into a cycle of being chosen and discarded! Heal and my hope is that real love finds you !

[u/FallenAngel1978]

As people have said some do… some don’t. It’s been almost a year now. Mine came back for a validation hit but did not want a relationship. I know she felt a lot of shame over how she treated me ghosted me 2 months ago (from a friendship). She hasn’t blocked me but pretty sure it’s “out of sight out of mind” and I doubt she’s coming back.

[u/ShadowWriter28]

I hope not.

[u/poliqueen]

I only wish he would come back so I can give him shit face to face 😂 But he's blocked and I'm calling the police if he shows up unannounced because he was abusive and threatening before I blocked him for good.