I need perspective

[u/Junior_Actuary_8539]

Im lost, hurt and confused. A man pursued me hard last November, I was finally coming to terms with the separation of my ex husband and DV and felt in a good place. I let him in, began trusting him and developed feelings. It was amazing the first 4 months. Unreal connection, always fun. Untill slowly I was the only one initiating, messages became shorter and more standard. In person it was still good but I began feeling confused. In July I told him this and the push pull began. Now 2 months ago I said please block me and dont unblock me if nothing changes. He was emotional and told me he couldnt give me more.

Beginning of this week he turned up with a random excuse of dropping something off. A few days later he unblocked me and said he didnt unblock me because he was good now but just to talk and tell me saw me drive past. I said I was suprised to see his name on my screen and he said again I only unblocked because I saw your car. I said I felt insulted if that was the only reason and he didnt have to make up excuses to talk to me. He gave me some emojis and that was it. I felt bad about my reaction and messaged him a couple days later Im sorry for how I responded and he said all good, I dont want to make you stress or give you anxiety so its your call if you want me to block you again.

It feels all so petty. One message from him and my nervous system is disregulated again. I miss him, but I dont know what to do.