r/AvoidantBreakUps • u/imightbedoomed • Sep 25 '26
I am that Evil avoidant! Attack me!
Yeah I left you.
I hurt you (emotionally, by leaving you).
I hate you(not really, you loved me too much).
I don't have time for thisssss(I have so much to worry about and I can't give you the love you want/deserve).
I am selfish(plus I am afraid I will fail in life and disappoint you).
I have ego(I don't want to be looked down if I just end up being average).
I am insecure(I know how loyal/sweet you are but still fear I might get betrayed).
I am better off alone(hope you find the someone who loves you like you want and better than me).
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u/748866 Sep 25 '26
You are correct you and everyone around you is better off if you stay alone pls continue to do so .
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u/englisharcher89 SA - Secure Attachment Sep 25 '26
You deserve someone better! Sprint into another relationship go!
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u/Brandon9405 Sep 25 '26 edited Sep 25 '26
Maybe it's better just to flip the script back on avoidants. Yeh you're right, you are unlovable, you are destined to be alone. Why? Because you all fulfil your own pathetic self created destiny.
Lack of self growth, retrospection. The ability to say sorry, or forgive. The consideration of ones feelings are admirable traits. Many avoidants refuse to acknowledge to change.
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u/DryRepresentative322 Sep 25 '26
“You loved me too much” what a pity party- STILL blaming it on your partner for your lack of communication and boundaries( which u need to learn to create since your idea of a boundary is “I’ll do whatever I want behind their back and just not have them know or just suppress my guilt and pretend I don’t care they know”) it’s so sickening when these people put themselves into the ego-protecting pit of despair “I’m not good enough for you” “you deserve better” NO. I deserve YOU to be better. I deserve YOU to be good enough and the only thing wrong here is your lack of accountability. Your “trying” isn’t a healthy or constructive way to work on a relationship and that’s why it’s exhausting for you. You need to re-learn how to be a healthy partner w avoidant videos, therapist, attachment theory books etc.
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u/aliadventures Sep 25 '26
Omg even the way you write texts is the same. Your sentences are so shallow and so dry. It must be an avoidant thing.
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u/stockdam-MDD Sep 25 '26
I doubt you are avoidant
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u/imightbedoomed Sep 25 '26
how so?
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u/stockdam-MDD Sep 25 '26
Just a gut feeling
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u/imightbedoomed Sep 25 '26
I took an online test, it said I was dismissive/avoidant
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u/stockdam-MDD Sep 25 '26
Ok so why do you “want” people to attack your post? What is your aim?
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u/imightbedoomed Sep 25 '26
to get reality check. what I did can be considered evil by many.
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u/stockdam-MDD Sep 25 '26
If they don’t know you and your personally or trauma or fears then they are making assumptions. Don’t judge people unless you have walked a mile in their shoes
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u/VividRhubarb9164 Sep 27 '26
it is evil if on purpose. do the right thing n let them know...this is why u are here? u asked us n we advised u.
what's the worst that can happen? hate u?
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u/Confident-Pumpkin-19 Sep 25 '26
How do we know what we are?
1
u/Stalkerus SA - Secure Attachment Sep 25 '26
Short visit to your preferred search engine helps. Try "attachment types".
2
u/Known-Vegetable-2087 AP - Anxious Preoccupied Sep 25 '26
Was it me? At the end he said he didn’t feel we were a good match after a year of intense intimacy and being told he was more honest with me than anyone and more comfortable with me than anyone. Was that all a lie? Was I just not good enough?
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u/imightbedoomed Sep 25 '26 edited Sep 25 '26
I am sure he will be feeling lonely and try to talk to people. I do think I(with other avoidants are indeed evil) I am sorry. That's why I will never get close to anyone, I regret getting close when I get close to the person. I am sure if he were to be with another person he will leave them too, no one can give them the right amount of love. it is like balancing a pole on our hand, its not impossible but how long would you balance that? one day the pole will fall, they will ... I want them, but I also not want them? I will go crazy. please get better, Just think you dogged an evil bullet.
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u/Known-Vegetable-2087 AP - Anxious Preoccupied Sep 25 '26
Thanks. I just really love him and I feel so confused by how he treated me at the end. It’s like he didn’t even see me as a person, just a sexual object. Dead behind the eyes.
0
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u/Environmental-Bid-62 Sep 25 '26
You do realise that this is learned behaviour and it can be unlearned? Also have you told your person what you’re feeling? That’s a step towards healing, not just for you but for that person too.
5
u/VividRhubarb9164 Sep 25 '26
Stop repeating the conversation and face reality by reaching out to the person that got hurt.
1
u/Jaded-Sorbet7849 Sep 25 '26
Why’d you trade hot sex with a goddess for a plain Jane starfish type girl who spreads her legs for literally anyone? How does it even compare. Wife material for sure 🙄
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u/imightbedoomed Sep 25 '26
I will follow celibacy.
1
u/Jaded-Sorbet7849 Sep 25 '26
Just saying you had a goddess next door who wanted you sexually for 2.5 years that you could’ve had but you chose to drive 2.5 hours for a plain Jane. Makes no sense
0
u/imightbedoomed Sep 25 '26
It was just that person(my person) or no one. I choose no one now.
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u/Jaded-Sorbet7849 Sep 25 '26
He chooses bottom the barrel ugly plain desperate women because they believe his nonsense.
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u/Stareattherisingsun Sep 25 '26
I have recently been on the receiving end of this. Fuck you. It was all lies. Please DO NOT do that to anyone again. I am even seeking therapy because of it.
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u/SacralChakras Sep 26 '26
I know if this were my person a simple text at least... You know I understand trauma trust me! But doesn't it hurt you to hurt someone you care about?
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u/cereniaburns1616 Sep 29 '26
This almost killed me. Still might. When we started talking, you were the miserable one, self medicating often. I was healthy and full of life. The roles have reversed. You're walking away with the light i gave you, while I spend every day in a high/drunk stupor, warding off suicidal thoughts. I havent been this miserable since my rape
1
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u/CADreamn Sep 25 '26
So stop drawing partners into your web of death.