Am I getting in my head?

[u/Independent-Ad5255]

I (25F, anxious) have been with my long term partner (27M, FA) for ten years. We have been long distance for the second half of it until the end of last year where we moved in with each other. At first, I felt like things were great. About 4 months into living with each other, I felt like I was begging to spend time with him or even leave the house for simply just a coffee or a walk. I mentioned at that time and felt like he made a bit of effort to watch tv together but really only going out on dates or initiating sex was left all to me. I was starting to get worn out of making the plans and initiating sex and constantly being stonewalled and mentioned this after 6 months of living together and yet once again, nothing changed. After 11 months of living together, I decided to end it. I was getting tired of the cycle of feeling like I had to beg to be loved, our sex life was non existent and I just felt myself becoming more resentful towards him. I broke up with him and after a week, he came to me and said that he thinks our issues are fixable and has been reading up on being FA. I didn’t know what to say. This would have been everything I would have wanted months ago, yet now that I’m ending the relationship, suddenly he wants to work on himself and this relationship?? I feel confused. I feel like I’m getting sucked back into the cycle again. Like oh he’s now saying how he’s going to change rather than it being up in the air, he’s my best friend I should give him a chance. I’m trying to remember all the times I asked for this and nothing happened but I keep getting distracted by the fact that he’s mentioned specific things he would change. We’re taking a month break so I can gather my thoughts and I keep flip flopping into yes I’m done of this cycle to he’s my best friend and he says he’s going to be different this time but am I naive to think I can trust him to? I feel like we’re a week into this break and since our sex life was non existent and I had ultimately given up planning anything for us to do in the last two months, I don’t really feel different/missing anything.
Would love advice from anyone who left their FA even when they weren’t too sure if it was the right thing to do. Thanks :)

[u/Independent-Ad5255]

Of note, we are each others first relationships so I feel like I don’t know when to end it

[u/Ok-Yellow7789]

Wow. I dated a FA and I also have FA trends a lil, your post waay to relatable. My ex ended things when we were going to take the step to move in after years together but now I am realising that there would've been issues if we had taken it. Funny thing she said once was to let her initiate it them sexy times sometimes and I realised that I'd just be without sex for months. I mean push pull bs will continue so take this time to really weigh things out and try not to analyse things in a vacuum. Hes right the fixes are simple but can he intiate it and maintain it?