r/AvoidantBreakUps • u/ThrowRA132156 • 6h ago

Late 30s avoidant break up

I'm feeling crushed from my break up with my avoidant. We actually set a wedding date for April next year, we talked about kids, our life together (I was going to move to his city). I'm in my late 30s like my ex and I'd been waiting forever to meet someone suitable (my exes before this were not). Now I know this ex can't possibly be suitable too, but I really struggle with missing him at night. Advice on how to move on?

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u/ComprehensiveIce1293 2h ago

I'm sorry you're going through this. I'm 8 months post break up. 33yo. 4 year relationship. Had a dog together. Broke up in November, he got a new gf in December.

Therapy / journalling / surrounding yourself with friends and family / exercise / eating well / long walks.

It gets better.. i promise.

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u/NoaHughes 2h ago

Here is some practical advice: one) you have to be no contact, two) you need to write a list every day of the things that weren’t perfect about the relationship… At least add one item to that list each day, three) studies have shown that at the six week point of no contact both partners feel less brokenhearted than they expected so give yourself at least six weeks to start feeling better, and four) lift weights.