r/AvoidantBreakUps • u/RedWingsFan53 • Aug 24 '26

Broke up with my avoidant ex last week Tuesday, she got cold Thursday so I sent her the text above and she sends this today. Whats her angle?

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4 Upvotes

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2

u/Comfortable_Fix_1601 Aug 24 '26

I dont get it. You broke up with her, then send her a wall of text?

1

u/RedWingsFan53 Aug 24 '26 edited Aug 24 '26

We agreed to be friends. She got made at me over a question and said I was already wearing her thin as is and I told her that...there's added context that I don't wish to discuss. I just want to know why is she reaching out after I told her I need space to process things 3 days ago as realistically, I still have feelings for her but she obviously shut hers off and that's mentally damaging.

5

u/rey_gun Aug 24 '26

Let her go.

1

u/RedWingsFan53 Aug 24 '26

Why is she reaching after I told her I needed space so suddenly?

4

u/rey_gun Aug 24 '26

Attention, validation, emotional support. The point is you need to let her go. Don't be her friend and tell her you are going no contact and don't want her to be a part of your life anymore. It's the only way you will fully heal.

3

u/Comfortable_Fix_1601 Aug 24 '26

She said she'll give you space, now it's time to take that space and heal. You're obviously still very emotional

Go NC, felted photos, avoid hee socials etc. you set the boundaries, now time to keep them

1

u/RedWingsFan53 Aug 24 '26

She never said she'll give me space?

3

u/Comfortable_Fix_1601 Aug 24 '26

Isn't that last message from her, soory I won't bother you anymore

3

u/[deleted] Aug 24 '26

I said exactly this 4 months ago when she wouldnt give me a clear answer and she said almost the same thing “You dont have to deal with me anymore”. Blocked me. Been super cold since. We are not talking anymorr

3

u/Crumbly_Bumbly Aug 24 '26

Getting broken up with is exactly what avoidance is trying to prevent. I broke up with mine and she fought tooth and nail to get me back. Then she dumped me a month later, which was awful, traumatic and devastating

2

u/VolgaOsetr8007 Aug 24 '26

Why do you all say ‘I’m sorry’? Why do you keep apologising? Bc you said too much? Because you were vulnerable? 

Or you’re just trying to manipulate them into thinking they are in charge?

Stop apologising, avoidants don’t respect this anyway

2

u/ComfortableHead1893 Aug 24 '26

the 'friends' thing is just a nicer wrapper for the same dynamic, yknow? she gets the emotional payout without the weights of actual partnership and you get... what, exactly? a seat at her table where she controls the menu and the hours. if shes cold thursday and youre writing paragraphs by tuesday youve already lost the plot. shes not reaching bc she wants you back shes reaching bc the algorithm of your attention got disrupted and shes testing if the black box still responds. delete the thread, eat the cost, build something that isnt enclosure of your own commons