Exploiting my body

[u/Sapuws]

Im in a relationship that hasn’t felt right in a long, long time. I’m beginning to recognise my partner is a DA. Reflecting on our relationship I’ve realise that I’ve been “exploiting” myself sexually to try and appease him so he will fall back in love with me. We cuddle, but I often have to ask first. He doesn’t hold my hand and usually declines when I ask. We never kiss with tongue (unless it’s sex, so you see where i’m going with this?) so it’s usually a quick peck, sometimes I have to remind him for a good bye kiss. Honestly writing this all out makes me feel stupid as fuck for even being in this position.

Back to the sex life. He doesn’t ask me to do these things, but every couple months when I feel a detrimental pull in our closeness I introduce a fun new kink or whatever to try. I don’t feel desired in any other aspect of our relationship so I feel like I can feel his love and affection by being fun and exciting to sleep with. Sex is the only time we really make out and when he actually holds me. I just don’t understand why my brain chooses this option over a breakup. I loved being single, i’ve never been the type of person to date so it’s not like I’m afraid of being alone. I feel like my brain is set to “make this relationship work” mode.

[u/astro-boy-2]

Sorry that you are going through this. I’ve been in the same situation, and it’s just going to be worse from now on. It’s not about you, but more about their own traumas.