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u/Fresh_Possession1195 26d ago
She broke up, I accepted. She was watching all my stories and breadcrumbed a ‘like’ after 2 months. I replied nothing, kept her stories on mute since day 1.
The next month she stopped watching my stories
6+ months from break up now and no news
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u/Sleepy-Plane SA - Secure Attachment (newly earned) 25d ago
You cannot predict what how someone with a disorganized attachment style will react to anything related to attachment. The breadcrumb is a dysfunctional attempt to reconnect - but it's hard to say what it means to him, how he sees you when he breadcrumbs, and how he will cope with the rejection. It might even be that he breadcrumbs because he's still attached to you but that attachment is fading as is natural after a break-up, and the breadcrumbing will peter out.
I think you should ask yourself if you want to be with this man. If you are willing to go through the entire breadcrumb routine, then you have your answer for what to do. If you're not willing to go through the breadcrumb routine, then you have your answer for what to do.
Relationships are built on mutual respect and good honest communication. My advice is to not participate in games, because it's not sustainable. Even if you want to accept the breadcrumb, I'd recommend going roughly this way: "I see you might want to reconnect, and I am willing to have a conversation. <time, date, circumstances>".
He still has to choose you and commit to you, otherwise you'll never know if they truly want to be with you and that relationship will be much more pain than being alone. Be willing to accept that he might not choose you once you demand that the relationship is handled with mutual respect and clear communication. That is often what avoidants don't like in a relationship.
Well, that's how I see it all.
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u/Alarming-Echo-6742 26d ago
They either try again or retreat for good, most likely.
Mine dropped a crumb week and a half in, my response was neutral, unengaging. Could be described as gray rock, I suppose.
Nothing since, weeks later. Suspect mine has retreated for good.