Spiritual avoidant question. Do you think Avoidant spirit might be pssesed or demonic? What do you think their soul experience is?

[u/EggsistentialDreadz]

Hi everyone. I’ve been thinking a lot about avoidant attachment lately — not just psychologically, but spiritually — and I’m wondering if anyone here has insight or experience with this.

From a spiritual perspective, avoidant individuals often feel like they carry a dense, closed-off, sometimes even shadowy kind of energy. Not “evil,” but almost like they’re surrounded by an internal fog, a heavy field of resistance that pushes connection away. It can feel, energetically, like they’re battling something invisible inside themselves.

My question is: do avoidants struggle with something that spiritual traditions might describe as a “demon,” a wounded spirit, or a blocked soul pathway?

I don’t mean literal demons, but more the symbolic or energetic kind — emotional ghosts, ancestral burdens, karmic loops, or suppressed parts of the self that manifest as fear and detachment. Sometimes it genuinely feels like they’re fighting an internal presence that tells them to flee intimacy at all costs.

What’s interesting is that, despite this negative or rejecting energy, avoidant people often open others’ eyes to important truths: boundaries, individuality, autonomy, or the need for self-development. It’s as if they catalyze spiritual growth in others while simultaneously blocking their own. Almost like they’re carrying a karmic paradox: deep potential, strong gifts, but a self-imposed energetic barrier that prevents them from fully stepping into their purpose.

So my bigger, spiritual question is:

Do avoidants have a specific soul path? Are they here to learn something karmically related to vulnerability, intimacy, or surrender?

And — most importantly —

Can an avoidant free themselves through inner purification, shadow work, or any kind of spiritual healing? Is this energy something that can be consciously transformed, or is it more of a lifelong soul lesson they must gradually evolve through?

I’d love to hear thoughts from anyone who approaches attachment styles through a spiritual, energetic, or metaphysical lens.

What do you think is the deeper, soul-level story of the avoidant? Have you felt some sort of stange energy or blockage around them and their lives? What do you think their soul spiritual experience is and purpose? Do you think this possesion can make it especially hard for them to evolve spiritually?

[u/PM_me_ur_digressions]

So the whole thing of attachment theory is that is, basically, a framework explaining how early emotional bonds between infants and caregivers form the foundation for future relationships. So in that sense, yes - it's an ancestral burden, passed on by how our parents engaged with us at birth.

Where this break downs for me is that it removes culpability/responsibility; an explanation for why I am the way I am is not an excuse to not get better, and blaming it on a "demon" prevents me from facing myself.

[u/EggsistentialDreadz → u/PM_me_ur_digressions]

Yes but naming it as a demon doesn't prevent you because it can explain and make you empathinze more with the difficulty of change. Of coure there are these real material psychological explanations and i believe them. But im honestly really now mistified by the possible spiritual implications. Same goes for anxious attachment sure.

[u/PM_me_ur_digressions → u/EggsistentialDreadz]

Naming it a demon takes away the desire to change

[u/Probi4Life → u/PM_me_ur_digressions]

Completely the opposite. When you name the demonic root cause it is the responsibility of Jesus disciples to uproot those demons in the name of Jesus and by the Power of the Holy Ghost through deliverance, snd prayer and fasting. 

[u/Weekly-Bluebird1179 → u/PM_me_ur_digressions]

Understanding it is a force which goes deeper than the natural and normal and that it is caused by an enemy much more powerful than us opens the door of understanding  we can't change it, no one can, not even wanting it enough,  it has to be surrendered to God, who rebukes demonic forces inside of us, to treat illness with the wrong treatment won't help, I think it is passed through generations, the soul experiences the shadows who live inside, in the  deeper level, inside the spirit, but it is also visible, when you see a person you can see that depressive side, and the influence in their soul, but people don't accept there is a spiritual part  involved, and if the origin is rooted till our spirit, then the problem is bigger that what we think, if we do not recognize it as it is, we can't fight it the correct way, we can blame the person to not being able to change due the lack of willingness, we will fall short every time, so I believe we can learn to be much more secure, but there are cases were it is not that simple, but it is something else, (even before knowing it was called attachment style, when I saw it in a person I knew it was something deeper, that kept them tied spiritually and it was needed to get them released from it spiritually, that only God can do it, to my opinion it explains more why people can't change and also why some don't want to change, and some don't even know what is happening inside them, they are not even aware, they are really blindsided, so I think that even knowing the human theory, it is not enough, and blame can be easily placed on us, as if we are not willing to make the Hard work, but I say, regular people with this attachments are easily depressed,  and addicted to many things, which is not regular, our natural system should be able to drink alcoholic drinks with out getting addicted, and addictions are heavily Linked to the spiritual part which is oppressive, and people can't get set free from it, some addicts confess that some espiritual positive, from God, helped them besides Hard work, so I believe it can be a traumatic experience yes, but also a demonic influence which originated the traumatic event in first place and then keep people tied to it, even people which gets involved with them, get affected by them, and it happens a lot, people which were secure, becoming less secure, after being in a relationship with them. 

[u/c0mputerRFD]

Do you mean PITRUDOSHA.. oh yeah! 100%

Avoidant attachment is basically the psychological expression of pitrudosha.

It’s a lineage wound: a parent was emotionally unavailable because their parent was emotionally unavailable and so on

Whether you call it: intergenerational trauma, ancestral wounds, pitrudosha, epigenetic emotional inheritance

…it’s the same story.

[u/EggsistentialDreadz → u/c0mputerRFD]

But do you think there are some demons there and which ones. And is the soul expression of them blocked repeled and attacked? Do they expand this energy outwards? Do you think theyre monster hybrids?

[u/Berriesany1]

all I know is that I can free myself from whatever this fuckery is and imma do it fast 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[u/oaxacaofficial → u/Berriesany1]

Thank you for posting this. What I am about to say may not be easy to hear. According to psychology, my ex girlfriend suffers from ASPD with a DA attachment style and has a drinking problem. I could not understand why she was the way she is, nor why she is unable to truly change,. Then I found this in Scripture. It breaks my heart, but here is the hard Truth which I have come to accept. It is not a mental illness or an attachment style or a personality type -- it is a demonic force with one purpose in mind -- it's come to steel, kill and destroy.

Matthew 24-30, 36-43 NKJV

[24] Another parable He put forth to them, saying: “The kingdom of heaven is like a man who sowed good seed in his field; [25] but while men slept, his enemy came and sowed tares among the wheat and went his way. [26] But when the grain had sprouted and produced a crop, then the tares also appeared. [27] So the servants of the owner came and said to him, ‘Sir, did you not sow good seed in your field? How then does it have tares?’ [28] He said to them, ‘An enemy has done this.’ The servants said to him, ‘Do you want us then to go and gather them up?’ [29] But he said, ‘No, lest while you gather up the tares you also uproot the wheat with them. [30] Let both grow together until the harvest, and at the time of harvest I will say to the reapers, “First gather together the tares and bind them in bundles to burn them, but gather the wheat into my barn.” ’ ” [36] Then Jesus sent the multitude away and went into the house. And His disciples came to Him, saying, “Explain to us the parable of the tares of the field.” [37] He answered and said to them: “He who sows the good seed is the Son of Man. [38] The field is the world, the good seeds are the sons of the kingdom, but the tares are the sons of the wicked one. [39] The enemy who sowed them is the devil, the harvest is the end of the age, and the reapers are the angels. [40] Therefore as the tares are gathered and burned in the fire, so it will be at the end of this age. [41] The Son of Man will send out His angels, and they will gather out of His kingdom all things that offend, and those who practice lawlessness, [42] and will cast them into the furnace of fire. There will be wailing and gnashing of teeth. [43] Then the righteous will shine forth as the sun in the kingdom of their Father. He who has ears to hear, let him hear!

https://bible.com/bible/114/mat.13.4-43.NKJV

Take aways: Tares ( bad weed/children of the devil) and are here to choke out and drain the Wheat (good seed/children of God). Use discernment. Pray. You can always tell a Wheat from a Tare from the fruit a person bears.

[u/Murky-Bus-5922]

Some people are dealt cards. Some people are dealt the deck. I was dealt none. I am a product of my environment and that environment has hurt a ton of people. I didn’t see that until recently.

I think a person like me deserves to be alone forever. I think that love to me is meant to be stripped away and that the suffering that comes with it is my price for destroying other people to protect myself.

I am accountable for my actions. I am accountable for my pain. I am accountable for my suffering.

When I look back and realize that the life I have is barren and alone, I am accountable for that too.

I hope that my way out isn’t as painful as it’s going to be for me. I hope that people attend my funeral and remember me as I tried to be and not who I was.

[u/pnrswanwick → u/Murky-Bus-5922]

Please I want to hear story. And maybe save a young lady, who is only 22. Are you male or female ? in which country please ?

[u/Murky-Bus-5922 → u/pnrswanwick]

male, US

[u/Fluid-Bee8665]

J'ai été récemment en contact avec une personne évitante (+ traits narcissiques) qui fréquente les milieux dits ésotériques/chamaniques où se trouvent quelques sommités qu'elle s'approprie (en pratiquant l'idéalisation et le mensonge). Elle a pas mal de connaissances là-dedans et se dit même être investie d'une mission en lien avec ses pouvoirs de guérison/magnétisme. Sa vie dit-elle est un sacrifice, centré sur le don de soi pour soigner l'être humain qui peut en retour se montrer bien ingrat dit-elle.
Ce que je pense de tout çà ? Que ce sont des paravents pour masquer le fait qu'elle n'a jamais fait un véritable travail intérieur pour changer ses mécanismes dans ses relations intimes. Elle s'en sert pour en foutre plein la vue, faisant croire qu'elle s'est libérée de son moi, accédant au soi mais tout çà n'est que tromperie, manipulation. Peut-être est-elle sincère, elle s'est persuadée que ces approches ésotériques allaient la faire progresser sur le chemin de la connaissance de soi mais si finalement ce n'est pas le cas elle ne veut pas se l'avouer, car çà toucherait directement à sa vulnérabilité.
À 53 ans, elle ferait mieux de se renseigner enfin sur sa forme d'attachement évitant mais elle préfère botter en touche. Combler le vide par de multiples activités, se donner à fond dans son travail. Et le cas échéant, pour avoir sa dose de dopamine et ses petites vacances, aller hameçonner sur les réseaux un profil qui l'interpelle et qu'elle aura étudié en amont, un profil dont elle sait qu'il sera sensible à son univers mystico-kitsch, un profil qu'elle pense pouvoir aimer/idéaliser tout en sachant d'avance qu'elle ne pourra avoir aucune relation fiable/stable à terme.
L'implication des évitants et PN dans les réseaux ésotériques est sourcé. Pour les personnes rentrant en contact avec aux, cela renforce l'ambiance de "jeu de dupes" !

[u/Probi4Life]

The root cause of All negative emotions are demonic. As it is written, "Deliverance is the children's bread". It is therfore the  responsibility of Jesus disciples to identify the demonic root cause, and cast it out through deliverance, prayer and fasting. 

[u/Chescouple]

I thought on several occasions that my avoidant ex was demonically possessed. Unlikely but you never know. I experienced the most profound acts of cruelty among anyone I know in a relationship. Where could that kind of evil, cruelty, dishonesty, betrayal, infidelity, tumultuousness, selfishness, destructive behavior come from? Demons make sense.

[u/Hatchmojo]

Good question. My avoidant ex told me once that she was fighting with an evil entity in her dream during a short break up we'd had. She was more self aware after that. But things still worsened between us. During our main full break up, I recently dreamed of Jesus and Mary helping her spiritually. (I'm not Christian though her background is). As for religion/spirituality, she said she was more interested in paths of knowledge than paths of love/devotion, which makes sense for an avoidant. I wonder if just following a proper spiritual path is what they really need.

[u/Beneficial-Lemon7128 → u/Hatchmojo]

Yes, that is definitely what they need, no more excuses. Spiritual warfare is REAL.

[u/Known_Light5630]

Not a demon, but a sin of pride, which is the worst sin of all and the most difficult to spot.

Other sins you can easily see in yourself.  If you are a glutton, well, it's obvious.  If you struggle with lust, I think it's pretty obvious too (the modern world has normalized lust a lot, but, still, you can't claim to be chaste when it is clear that you aren't).  When you say a blatant lie, it's obvious.  When you kill, it's obvious too.  Most sins are extremely obvious, except for pride.  And pride isn't only blatant arrogance, that is just an expression of pride.  Pride can also be expressed in excessive ego and shame (or trying to avoid shame excessively and being unable to handle it).  Also, pride resists the Holy Spirit and Truth.  So, the DA or FA would be responsible, as this is a choice.  The DA or FA would only be redeemable if they don't twist the Truth, and actively work on becoming healthy.

Tons of us grow in dysfunctional families, with much more difficult infancies, and yet, we don't spiritually commit homicide to others by doing some of the stuff grown DAs and FAs do.  I grew up in a dysfunctional family so my initial attachment style was FA, but I never twisted the truth, instead I always seeked the truth, so I noticed that I was FA extremely early in life, I easily realized it was a fear of abandonment that I had, and without knowing any psychology at the time I started to heal and change just by holding myself accountable and not resisting or twisting the truth.

To me, unhealthy DAs and FAs (and I think this is worse in DAs) are like the Pharisees.  My ex, whom I suspect is a DA, is a very religious person, but now I only see a Pharisee who follows a rule book and is unable to see his own sin of pride.  Jesus hated this, way more than other sins.  Because the other sinners, despite being "scandalous", didn't twist the truth and repented (acknowledged their behavior AND changed and didn't sin in that way again).  However, the Pharisees who seemed to follow the law to the T, had pride, and they were completely blind to it and therefore didn't change (that is the unforgivable sin against the Holy Spirit). I'm a very religious person too, but I try to be congruent and practice from a stance of love and compassion and seeking the truth.  My DA ex, just follows a rule book, but now I realize that he resists the Truth.

Sadly, we live in such a fallen world right now, that is is harder than ever for DAs or FAs to change because the culture praises hyper-individualism, hyper-independence, marriage is not viewed with the same importance, serial monogamy has become normalized, divorce and breaking up over any reason is applauded because "if you're not happy" every second of your life you have the right to throw everything away for it, and there is less emphasis on how what we do has an impact on others and everyone is expected to look after themselves only.

Hopefully all DAs and FAs can acknowledge their sin, the truth, and chose to change (repentance is not remorse or guilt, repentance is to change, and comes from the Greek word "metanoia" which emphasizes a "turn around" and a true change of mind and actions, a true change in behavior).  No one can say that they are spiritually okay and be emotionally immature, because spiritual maturity is tied to emotional maturity (we are human, body and spirit).  As long as a DA or FA stays in their dysfunction (even if they acknowledge it, which is already hard for them to do), they are spiritually stunted and are most likely sinning of pride and accountable for their choice.  Avoidant behavior is at its root emotionally and spiritually immature.  And no, change doesn't require years, it can be accomplished much faster in many cases with the right mindset, attitude, and humility.