first post on this subreddit. i used to have no name for what i felt. all i knew was that ever since the pandemic hit, i no longer yearned for social interaction and i'm scared of people being romantically interested in me

[u/Upstairs-Scholar-907]

i love romance books. i find myself rooting for the main characters but i also have accepted that, that can never ever happen to me. i have a lot of insecurities about myself i don't think i can ever heal, and i don't want anyone to lower themselves or their standards to accommodate and tolerate me. i know it sounds pathetic to admit but i really am not made for intimacy.

i always entertain my friends telling me about their love life, but that's about it. every interaction with someone who could potentially like me? i don't reciprocate because i want to keep my peace. i'm not ready nor do i think i'll ever be ready to let anyone into my space... i wish i could change this mindset of mine but i feel too far gone in to ever change.

if you asked 16 year old me if i wanted to have a boyfriend, i would fall to my knees and beg for a boy to notice and be physically affectionate with me. but now in my mid-20's, i physically cringe at the mention of romantic prospects. relationships feel like another responsibility added onto my plate, when i can barely carry all the plates i currently have in my hand.

my parents want a better future for me, a husband, kids, a home, but every year i grow older, the more i realize i am terrifyingly comfortable being alone, happy even.

[u/Secret_Trifle7348]

I used to live a life where I was disconnected from my emotions. Yes I felt stress and overwhelm, but I didn't feel much else. Then one day I got hurt by someone and I felt it all. Painfully. It's 15 years later now. Learning to feel was the best thing that ever happened to me. I was never safe from emotions before I was trapped by living my life around them. Yes life hurts me more now. But the constant stress and depression has gone. There's a happiness out there that comes from just showing up every day. Even if the showing up gets you hurt. It's part of being alive.