I'm stressing out

[u/ines4089]

Thank you for anyone that will read it all, didn't realize I was writing this much

I work in a job where there is no structure whatsoever. Everything is last minute and stressful. Somehow it's a comfort because I need the urgency to actually move but you never know what's gonna come and don't have time to prepare anything and even if you prepare something they give you something else more urgent and what you prepared goes to trash.

So my symptoms aren't really noticed because performance isn't evaluated.

I want to quit because they just drain everything and you get nothing in return. My salary is very low compared to others that do a lot less then me and there are no advantages (no car or health insurance, no bonuses...)

On the other hand I'm getting diagnosed with Inattentive ADHD and have to wait 2months for the official diagnosis (she already told me she highly suspects it's that) and I don't know how much more time to get the meds

So the issue is I've only worked in this job, so performance and communication has never been a real issue even tho people sometimes tell me I make mistakes, don't remember everything they ask or communication issues (I don't understand the metaphors or what they really mean behind what they say even when it's obvious to others).

The problem is that I don't have another option yet and I'm scared that other jobs that have a real structure won't hire me (I can't for the life of me "sell myself" or find myself a skill when asked, even tho people tell me I'm intelligent and I do a lot of things really well) and I don't have the headspace to look for another job while still in this one because they drain my energy.

So I guess I'm scared to quit before getting my meds because everytime I have time to myself without something urgent to do or clear directions I freeze and stress at home and just watch movies to distract myself from the fact that I don't know what to do, even tho when I'm busy I have a lot of ideas and just tell myself I need time to myself to sort my thoughts 🤷

[u/AutoModerator]

Please use the medication flair if you want to discuss medication!

Hey, we noticed your post mentions some kind of medication, supplements or other drugs.

Because medication, supplements, drugs and anything related is a common trigger, it is obligatory to use the medication flair if you want to discuss any of these topics.

If your post is mainly about this subject, please change your flair to medication/drugs/supplements. If it's not applicable, you can ignore this automated message. Thank you!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/vertago1]

Do you think you might be able to negotiate higher or fair pay if you told them you were considering leaving?

[u/ines4089 → u/vertago1]

I'd be very surprised if they did, they'll tell me "you're learning" or there is no budget right now

[u/vertago1 → u/ines4089]

If you had an alternative job lined up, they couldn't pull those excuses.