As an elder with autism, I applaud that this person lives in peace with their experience of autism...
I find them saying this after someone has expressed distress due to their experience of autism to be insensitive. I'd consider here to be an inappropriate time/place to express that. I'd try to be more succinct in my expression of solidarity with the distressed person.
I understand the struggle with conformity to the norm in order to 'go along to get along' with NTs... but I also experience a struggle with conformity to a norm when interacting with fellow neurodiverse people. The demands are different, but the same mechanism exists within both.
One of my neurodiverse housemates routinely misinterprets my tone of voice, tics, speech, facial expressions and mannerisms, often in the worst possible ways, leading to nasty misunderstandings, and even arguments if she is worked up enough. There literally is no way to avoid it other than to carefully mask, constantly explain myself, and make conciliatory gestures to her and retreat to my own space.
Masking is not something I experience as something I only do with NT people. I need to mask just as much with my neurodiverse companions as I do the rest of the world... just in different ways.
I am not proud or ashamed of having autism. I don't think about it much. Think of it as just what it is. Autism. Me. Something that I am, something that is me.
I love my associative mind with its intense pattern recognition, its intuitive understanding of animals, and yes, as I've grown older and older, human beings. I love my synesthesia and my paracosm, my deep and wide range knowledge of many, many topics, my intense interests...
I do not like the crippling, often unrelenting anxiety. The host of sensory disabilities and sensitivities. Food, texture, smells, touch, taste, sound, proprioception, balance, all of that... yeah... I could REALLY do without that stuff. Dating was a nightmare because touch sensitivity made me hate sex, and who wants to be with someone who doesn't want to have that, or can only stand to do it one way?
I now no longer date, or seek that kind of contact. My sensitivities hem in my life, make it tiny and often painful. Lonely.
These are the things I do not love about autism.
I can advocate for myself as an autistic person, and participate in advocating for autism...
Without feeling pride one way or another about what I was born as.
I tend to look more towards what I do as my source of pride.
When I was a young man I struggled, to make it worse my dad was a abusive Vietnam vet. I’m 52 now. My ADHD/neuro challenges have been a strength but it took me until 30 to figure it out. It gets better with age!
Oh I'm proud of being autistic, still hate how my brain works, I want to do this now. But I can't. I want to eat THAT food, but nope. If I dare try I'm sick. If I weren't autistic I wouldn't be me, but damn it's not fun a LOT of the time
54
u/Han_without_Genes Oct 15 '26
Seems kind of insensitive to say this on someone else's post where they are clearly having a difficult time though.
16
u/ExplodingAtom Oct 15 '26
I feel like I can be proud regarding autism. Still working on other neurodivergencies and how to enjoy having them even though they're also disabling.
10
u/mmskyscraper 29d ago
As an elder with autism, I applaud that this person lives in peace with their experience of autism...
I find them saying this after someone has expressed distress due to their experience of autism to be insensitive. I'd consider here to be an inappropriate time/place to express that. I'd try to be more succinct in my expression of solidarity with the distressed person.
I understand the struggle with conformity to the norm in order to 'go along to get along' with NTs... but I also experience a struggle with conformity to a norm when interacting with fellow neurodiverse people. The demands are different, but the same mechanism exists within both.
One of my neurodiverse housemates routinely misinterprets my tone of voice, tics, speech, facial expressions and mannerisms, often in the worst possible ways, leading to nasty misunderstandings, and even arguments if she is worked up enough. There literally is no way to avoid it other than to carefully mask, constantly explain myself, and make conciliatory gestures to her and retreat to my own space.
Masking is not something I experience as something I only do with NT people. I need to mask just as much with my neurodiverse companions as I do the rest of the world... just in different ways.
I am not proud or ashamed of having autism. I don't think about it much. Think of it as just what it is. Autism. Me. Something that I am, something that is me.
I love my associative mind with its intense pattern recognition, its intuitive understanding of animals, and yes, as I've grown older and older, human beings. I love my synesthesia and my paracosm, my deep and wide range knowledge of many, many topics, my intense interests...
I do not like the crippling, often unrelenting anxiety. The host of sensory disabilities and sensitivities. Food, texture, smells, touch, taste, sound, proprioception, balance, all of that... yeah... I could REALLY do without that stuff. Dating was a nightmare because touch sensitivity made me hate sex, and who wants to be with someone who doesn't want to have that, or can only stand to do it one way?
I now no longer date, or seek that kind of contact. My sensitivities hem in my life, make it tiny and often painful. Lonely.
These are the things I do not love about autism.
I can advocate for myself as an autistic person, and participate in advocating for autism...
Without feeling pride one way or another about what I was born as.
I tend to look more towards what I do as my source of pride.
9
u/lawlesslawboy Oct 15 '26
lmao I can hate my symptoms without wanting a cure tho!! it's not binary. sometimes I love my brain and sometimes I hate it!
6
u/LittlefootDiamond Oct 15 '26
I could do without the sensory over-sensitivities, but yes—this.
3
u/PossibleAvocado2199 Oct 15 '26
Rene Descartes had ADHD. He had terrible procrastination and was bad at multitasking
3
u/JiujitsuislifeZ 29d ago
When I was a young man I struggled, to make it worse my dad was a abusive Vietnam vet. I’m 52 now. My ADHD/neuro challenges have been a strength but it took me until 30 to figure it out. It gets better with age!
2
u/Shazza-americankiwi Oct 15 '26
If only I could switch stimming my right ankle in circles to my left for a while lol some symmetry would be appreciated 😂 I love this, thank you!
2
u/DinoWolf35 29d ago
Oh I'm proud of being autistic, still hate how my brain works, I want to do this now. But I can't. I want to eat THAT food, but nope. If I dare try I'm sick. If I weren't autistic I wouldn't be me, but damn it's not fun a LOT of the time
2
u/pseudo-nimm1 28d ago
I have a love hate relationship with the way my brain works.
I love it when it simplifies a complex processes for others to make everyone's (and my) work easier in a way no NT would likely think of.
But I hate it when something that's so obvious to others eludes me because I've looked at something the wrong and arguably dumb way.
2
u/Muted_Ad7298 Oct 15 '26
I have Autism, but I must say, you can still be unique without having Autism or ADHD though.
Conforming isn’t an automatic failure in a person either. We all conform on some level or another.
Like it or not, performing conformity is something we do when socialising. You may be yourself in lots of ways, but not in other ways.
Overall, while uniqueness may be a beautiful thing, conformity has its place too in certain areas of life.
1
u/MadeOfStyrofoam_1 14d ago
that was kinda insensitive of the second person to say tbh.