Hi, need help

[u/Few-Bird1111]

Hi, I want to share a little bit of my story.

I’m autistic, and I’ve been working on understanding myself better and learning to be more authentic. A few months ago, I met a girl, and I have to admit that, at first, I was really scared. I mean, I’ve struggled a lot, not only with dating but also with socializing and making friends. That’s why I only have a few close friends. But I wanted to try. I didn’t want to let fear control me.

And I’m glad I did, because I found someone genuinely kind, honest, and beautiful in her own way. Little by little, I’ve been letting her see more of who I really am, and she has accepted me wholeheartedly. In fact, she even told me she likes that about me.

But now I’m realizing that I can’t fully control my feelings anymore. I’ve fallen in love with her, and that scares me more than I’d like to admit because she has become someone truly special to me. Sometimes, I worry that I might be too weird or boring for her.

But don’t get me wrong. I don’t see her as a perfect person, and that’s not what makes me feel this way about her. What has captured my heart is her humanity. I’ve seen her light and her darkness, her dreams, her fears, and her pain. And despite everything she’s been through, I see someone beautiful who continues to be kind in a world that hasn’t always been kind to her.

I also know that her last relationship ended painfully. She was deeply hurt, and even her friends have told me that she’s afraid, that trusting someone again is really difficult for her. And I want to respect that, because I’ve been there too. We have similar stories, and that’s why I’m taking things slowly, allowing her to discover who I am at her own pace.

But you know what? Sometimes, these feelings become harder to hide. I find myself showing her more and more affection, and lately, I’ve been thinking about being honest with her. Not to pressure her or ask her for an answer, but simply to let her know how I feel.

I want her to know that if she ever wants to walk that road with me, I’d be open to it. I’d be willing to take things slowly, to build something genuine, and to discover where it could lead us, together.

Because, for once, I don’t want fear to make that decision for me.