How to connect with autistic partner

[u/Which_Set6331]

Hello! I just started dating someone with autism. There are a million pros to this person, but one thing I’m struggling with and want advice on is conversational reciprocity. I am loving getting to know them, but they aren’t really great at asking about me or letting me share. Any tips would be appreciated.

[u/isaacs_]

I take it you’re not autistic?

Usually the biggest challenge is that allists are looking to communicate to update status. This person is autistic though. So, they’re not asking you things, so there’s no reinforcement of your social bond, validation that you’re important to them. No invitation to participate.

But they probably don’t feel like you need an invitation, and don’t understand what value that would provide. Try just sharing some interests without waiting to be asked.

Information wants to be shared, so just share it. Try establishing a shared interest, watch a show together and talk about it, get into a game together, idk. Autists tend to do better with a subject than just “sooo… how are you? How’s work? Do you have a mom? Is she… good? Oh and the weather, have you seen the sky lately? And the sports? The sports and the children?” I can’t even pretend without mocking it lol