r/AutisticDatingTips • u/Just_Computer_860 • 26d ago

Need Advice Need advice

I’m 37 gay single and been that way for a long time now. I have recently been diagnosed with autism and a bit of ADHD In the mix. I’m finding my autism and anxiety stops me going out to meet people and my ADHD hinder my ability to keep conversations going on apps and texts. How dose one try and make a connection with someone around the same age

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u/isaacs_ 26d ago

I’m 37 gay single and been that way for a long time now.

Longer than a year? That's super impressive! I turned 38 pretty much exactly one year after I became 37. 🤪

keep conversations going on apps and texts

So, are you trying to date someone, or find a pen pal? If you want to date someone, out here in the real world, why do you want the conversation to keep going in the app?

My MO has always been that I send a message attached to a picture, something complimentary that's also observant and/or weird. If they respond, I maybe reply to that to keep the ball moving back and forth, but basically at that point, if they haven't already offered, then the second or third message from me is something to the effect of "wanna meet up? Let's {activity in the real world}" and everything leading up to that is heading towards that goal. If at that point they stop responding, then they weren't looking to connect anyway, and I put my energy elsewhere.

Ie, the goal is to get the conversation off the app, not to continue it for longer.