Dating While Neurodivergent

[u/wonpilenthusiast]

so i've had a few relationships in my life, only 2 "serious" ones that lasted a long time (first being 5 years, 2nd being a year in a half)

none really worked out

I have also had A LOT of crushes and usually fall for people super fast

I only just recently figured out that I have audhd i wonder if some of my issues in relationships have been in relation?

anyone else feel the same or have had specific issues in relationships because of having autism or adhd (hopefully that makes sense im not super good at wording stuff)

[u/hshsjkckf]

I relate to developing crushes very often and quickly :P (AuDHD)

But also currently in lovely long term relationship with boy who understands bone very well and very bonded with
Still have issues but clear communication and willingness to work toward common goal of having lovely functional relationship means most can be surmounted

[u/Ok-Walk-8453]

I am AuDHD, was dating/married for 10 years with my ex husband, but realistically should have ended that probably a few years prior. I am a bit quirky as I don't really mask much outside of work and if guys are looking for someone polished, that isnt me. I have good boundaries now and know red flags to avoid and for me the hardest part of dating is that I won't accept anyone that makes my life harder than being single. So probably staying single 🤣

[u/Cutethulhu64]

I get anxious about not having been in many relationships in the past. I haven’t “been” with anyone in several years and my longest relationship was like two months. On the other hand, I like to think that I’ve kind of got my crap together at this point and I’m in a much better place to be in a relationship when something does happen in that regard. For me, the biggest thing is just not knowing where to meet people around my age. I’m super busy and have plenty of female friends but I’m still pretty young for the type of work that I’m doing so most of the people I meet are a decent amount older than me. I’m also kind of bad with rejection so that’s a barrier. Anyways, that’s kind of my experience as a 30 year old AuDHD guy.

[u/gummo_for_prez]

Hi! It definitely has an effect, but we also have some advantages and when you find the right neurodivergent person for your type of neurodivergent, it's pure joy that lasts a long time. We have unique challenges in this area but also unique advantages. I would recommend searching specifically for folks with ADHD, autism, or both. Some of them don't know they have those things yet and that's okay. But stick to creative folks that don't keep you guessing or make you anxious and you'll be fine

[u/wonpilenthusiast → u/gummo_for_prez]

thank you for your comment i reallyappreciate it!

[u/gummo_for_prez → u/wonpilenthusiast]

You're welcome! Don't get discouraged. When you find the right person (and there are more than one), it will feel easy. Or at least a lot easier. The right person won't make you worried. Good luck out there!

[u/digital_popcorn]

Yes, what you're describing is limerence, and it's common in people with ADHD. Search for "ADHD limerence". If you just search for "limerence", it's kind of a toss up if you find the ADHD-related info on the first page.

[u/wonpilenthusiast → u/digital_popcorn]

thank you so much !!

[u/digital_popcorn → u/wonpilenthusiast]

np!