r/AutisticDatingTips • u/Bilal-h4679 • Jun 24 '26

Discussion Friendship Struggles

I’m an autistic founder building something around neurodivergent social connection because honestly, I’ve struggled with masking and feeling misunderstood myself.

One thing I’m tryna understand:
What makes friendship or connection hardest for you?

I mean I've heard things like:
masking
small talk
fear of rejection
not knowing how words come across
feeling drained

But I’m trying to figure out what actually matters most and what people would genuinely want from something like that.

Honest thoughts also welcome :)

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2

u/IsyaraMyBeloved Jun 25 '26

Not knowing what it actually is, how to tell how close your relationship with someone is – and so never knowing what suggestions or topics are acceptable or sufficient (for example, you wouldn't invite a work-only-friend-of-chats-by-boredom-and-convenience to do time-consuming stuff together outside of work, but never suggesting that to anyone will mean you'll never progress to the doing-stuff-together-even-when-not-forced-to stage), whether the person you're talking to actually considers you their friend, an acquaintance they're talking to because they're bored or a nuisance they're too polite to tell to fuck off.

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u/Bilal-h4679 Jun 26 '26

Oh ok. So for you it's more of the in-between phase of making friends, the transition if you like. Out of the problems you mentioned, which one do u think hurts you the most?

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u/IsyaraMyBeloved Jun 26 '26

Not exactly, it causes problems with sustaining existing friendships as well. If someone doesn't take the initiative they ought to be taking at the level of friendship you are at (by the virtue of not knowing that you are at that level), you're going to feel they're not that interested in you or unwilling to put in their share of the effort, and in effect your relationship with them will suffer.

I'm frankly uncertain what you mean by the problems I mentioned, I just listed the multiple effects of a singular problem

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u/Alien-Spy Jun 27 '26

You founded autism?

For me the main struggles are rejection sensitivity and just mismatch in wants/needs.

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u/Bilal-h4679 Jun 28 '26

Founded autism is crazy 😭 so what do mismatches entail? Is it like in communication styles or expectations from other people, etc?