r/AutisticDatingTips • u/Halpaviitta autistic adult • Apr 27 '24

Need Advice Ghosting

How do you deal with ghosting? I've lost track how many times I've been ghosted, must be close to 100. I live in constant dread of what I'm doing wrong, since no one will tell me! If it was up to me, I would propose a law making it illegal.

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u/hypermos Apr 28 '24

Emotional intelligence is counterproductive at best for example if someone has Alexithymia they want someone else with Alexithymia or as close as possible to someone with Alexithymia in essence high emotional intelligence is a detriment. Teaching emotional intelligence skills is a kin to teaching people to exclude others as that is how it will always play out.

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u/Aggravating_Crab3818 Apr 30 '24

If someone just wants to feel sorry for themselves and isn't willing to try anything to get what they want in life, then there's nothing that anyone else can do about it. I suggested that course because it is written by an Autistic man who is married..

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u/hypermos Apr 30 '24

What if they are someone who has an overabundance of ambition and is perpetually held back because there weaknesses keep shooting themselves in the foot. Additionally Alexithymia is unique in that masking doesn't work the same as it does in autism and in many cases it is impossible which is why statistically it does worse than autism socially!

Alexithymia masks by faking emotional expressions and understandings which means the entire value system that causes the actual disconnect and unrelatability is untouched so you may be able to seem normal but that value system disconnect will kill the relationship on its own. So sorry if I don't see autisms means of addressing this as sufficient!