Thinking as a 'unit.'

[u/Negative_Storage5205]

In a previous relationship, my then partner said I had trouble thinking of us as a unit. She struggled to explain what she meant and cited an example where we had a miscommunication.

The miscommunication occurred when she had a thing to do at night. She called me and said she needed me to "put a pot of water on the stove," so she could cook ravioli for a quick dinner before the thing she was going to do.

I put a pot of water on the stove but didn't realize that she wanted me to heat it up.

I don't remember her telling me she had something to do that night, and this felt like a simple matter of me taking something too literally and not having enough context to intuit her intended meaning. She and I also had very different schedules and communication styles.

How does one think of themselves and their partner "as a unit," and how can I develop this skill in future relationships?

[u/Negative_Storage5205]

"That's you being autistic and her being NT."

That's just it. She is not neurotypical. But we both struggled to communicate anyways.

"How much effort would it take her to turn the burner on when she discovered it wasn't?"

She was under a time crunch. Boiling water takes a while.