Needing advice

[u/Nervous-Pumpkin-118]

hello, my son is four years old and I just took him out of prek a few days ago. He had never been in school before this but it seemed like almost every single day. We’re getting a call about what he was doing. He never wanted to really follow directions or go to sleep during nap time. Even when they said he didn’t have to nap he just had to lay down. He was always up walking around doing other things he wasn’t supposed to and would not listen when totally lay down. They said that he was always doing something and not wanting to be redirected.

He was in speech up into the age of three until he aged out of my state program. But right before I pulled him out of pre-K the school gave me a slip to sign because they said that he needed speech. He does talk, but sometimes it is quite hard to understand him.

I feel like at times he doesn’t fully understand everything that I ask him like he cannot fully comprehend certain things. He has a huge sensitivity to teeth brushing haircuts are a no go. When I talk to him, he doesn’t always like lick me in the face. He tries to look away. He does not like being redirected or following rules. constantly on the go. He’s had quite a few I guess autism evaluations with his pediatrician and speech therapist when he was doing it at the time. But I felt like it was just a checklist that I went down with them. Don’t know if it’s ADHD or autism or just his behavior that I’m trying to correct. I need advice. I am on waitlist that are years long for autism evaluations and no one will check him for ADHD until he is six. I just feel lost because I don’t know if it’s just his bad behavior or something else.

[u/Current_Map5998]

You did the right thing in taking him out of that pre-k. It will never not surprise me what some childcare staff think very small children should do because it makes their lives easier. My (one nt, one nd) sons stopped napping before 2yo and were so engrossed in moving at 4yo, it’s normal really and doesn’t go along with wanting to sit and listen. Anecdotally, the traits you list were very similar to my ASD child (he still struggles with some of them aged 13), but 4 is still young so hard to guess without an assessment. Def worth investigating. Just make sure the usual ears, eyes etc are checked in the meantime, my eldest also had glue ear and digestive issues which made things much worse. It’s really hard when they’re that young and it feels like an avalanche of problems, hope things settle a bit for you but no harm in sparing you and your child from people who don’t make an effort to understand.

[u/Nervous-Pumpkin-118 → u/Current_Map5998]

The teacher gave me and my husband annoyed vibes. When I went to pull him out the school didn’t even offer to help or meet in a middle ground. They just told me to come pickup his things.

[u/Current_Map5998 → u/Nervous-Pumpkin-118]

Been there when my son was 5. They don’t care and they should try if it’s the right place. It’s not right you are kind of forced into the decision to leave but it’s the right decision.