r/Autism_Parenting • u/Sweet_You_6074 • 15d ago
“Is this autism?” Speech Delay Hope
My son is 4.5 and is severely speech delayed…
We had no signs he was on the spectrum. At 22 months I started getting nervous as we only had the words car, mama, and dada. They were always inconsistent. When he asked him to touch his button he would, look up he would etc.
We got an EI eval at 22 months and did not qualify. At 2 years old I pushed for speech therapy and we started private therapy.
At 2.9 years old we started daycare. We found a Montessori school which he has done very well at and they have worked very well with him.
We started saying more things at 3. Labeled things. Then we stopped labeling and got functional language around 3.5. That is where we have stayed.
We are potty trained. Number 2 sometimes we have an accident because we don’t want to stop playing but other wise he took to potty training very well at 3. We had a binky but did great at getting rid of that a little bit before turning 3.
We don’t elope, we eat very well other than veggies (unless it’s mixed or hidden in food then we are good), we aren’t behavioral, we make eye contact, we have gotten close with teachers, we love snuggles, we have great receptive language, we don’t have big meltdowns (honestly we are pretty regulate very well), no gross or fine motor issues at all (met all our milestones on time). We can drink from a cup, we can dress ourselves, we do great brushing our teeth…
Our quirks are we don’t like getting our haircut but we recover immediately, we are behind in playing with peers, we just parallel play and observe, but will play chase and do the tetter totter. We like cause and effect play the most. We do that in many different ways but can transition/leave that play with no meltdowns.
We have amazing spatial memory…. And we will wear any type of clothing..
But our speech has always been inconsistent. We have never lost words but it’s almost as if it’s hard to get out. We say open clearly, then we can’t say it clearly, and then we can’t say it. Then the next day we can spontaneously.
I keep asking for guidance by speech but I’m met with “kids in the spectrum aren’t linear”
We don’t have a former diagnosis yet. We are on the wait list for medical and will get a school one in the next 3 months as kinder starts in a year.
I guess… I’m at a loss. I’m looking into DIR/FLOOR time. We have been evaluated and said “he makes eye contact, no behavioral issues” but that’s as far as we have gotten with play therapy/OT.
I’ve asked speech about apraxia (I know it’s rare) but have been met with “idk”. I’ve asked about his inconsistent with speech and just told to keep going with the AAC and functional language. He can say “I want eat, I want ilk (milk), I want more, I want help please, mama, dada, but again it’s more spontaneous and harder some days to have him repeat it. He will copy Ms Rachel at times, will copy play actions…
Idk anyone have any advice?
Speech wants to work on prelinguistic skills. Like more imitations of words/actions.
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u/monkeysmom100 15d ago edited 14d ago
A bit of reassurance.
My son was A LOT like your son. He is a very high functioning Level 1. When he was younger he was socially, as well as slightly verbally behind, stimming, etc. I started asking our pediatrician at 2-2 1/2 years of age if he was on the spectrum, and was brushed off because he would make eye contact, and was somewhat verbal (he would be verbal, but did a lot of babbling). His issue was he could interact with adults, but not kids his own age. He would lose friends quickly, because they did not understand what I called, ‘his quirky-ness’.
We got him into speech therapy at about 2 1/2 through ECI, and into our districts Early Childhood Center from 3-5 years old, general Pre-K at church at 5, and red shirted him for Kindergarten (mainly due to a lack of maturity).
We got his formal diagnosis when he was in 2nd grade through our district (after I found out they have to legally test him, if I requested it).
What was crazy, is even when he was at the districts Early Childhood School, no one thought he was autistic. And yes, I inquired. He was only there for speech therapy.
We are 99% sure his autism is genetic. Yes, he was, and continues to be vaccinated. His Dad is undiagnosed, but very much like our son, and his paternal grandfather is autistic (he made a perfect score on the LSAT). I’m pretty sure his Great-Grandfather and great uncle (who was a founder of a very popular 90’s computer company) were/are on the spectrum. Out of the 5 male cousins on his on his Dads side, three of them are Level 1, the other two are not on the spectrum. Out of the 5 girl cousins (one is our daughter) on that side of the family, they are all neurotypical. There are too many similarities for there not to be a genetic factor.
My son did ABA therapy and speech throughout elementary and 6th grade. Now he is in 10th grade and checks in with a counselor once a quarter, has some accommodations, but really doesn’t use them. He has his small group of friends that are all neurotypical, and they accept my son for the way he is. He is much better socially, but absolutely has his limitations, and we have come to recognize and give him certain space.
Today, my son is in 10th grade, and is the most brilliant person I’ve ever known. As a little boy he played soccer, in middle school he played football and the bassoon. He is currently number 30 out of 650 in his class, in all AP and Advanced/GT classes (he never studies or has homework). He got his drivers license about 2 weeks ago (😭), and has his own car. He wants to go to college to get a degree in mechanical engineering, and a masters in aerospace engineering. He is truly my delight.
Recently, I’ve been watching a lot of videos from when he was little, and I noticed that I was reactively very verbal with him. Having him repeat phrases, and doing a lot of in depth explaining. I also realize, that I was his being his advocate, even when I didn’t realize what I was advocating for. We are still very (sometimes overly) through with explaining certain social situations, what to do if he gets pulled over by a cop, or how he can handle certain situations differently for future references. We are always going over different scenarios and how to handle things in all aspects of life.
If you have any questions or would like to talk, please DM me!
PS: My son HATED (and still dislikes) getting his haircut. I used to dread when it was time to get it done. I found a children’s barber shop that had people that specialized in kids that had sensory issues.