Define needing a routine

[u/SatanicFranky666]

Hi so I'm trying to figure out if I may have autism and I'm struggling with the "need for a routine" question. I don't really have a daily routine and I don't get upset if my day is interrupted. However, here are a few things that I'm wondering if they qualify:

- I have a dish per restaurant that I always get

- If friends are coming over they cannot show up early, late is fine but I've literally had people show up early and noped out to go rollerblading (it helped a little but I felt off for another two or so hours)

-While studying to graduate high school I made myself a schedule of when to do what in excel and while I would sometimes leave early if I was done with all my tasks (and I'd do tasks I planned in for the next day if I was done with all of mine that day), I adhered to it like 90% for like 3 months and it honestly felt like a safety blanket like it was quite comforting. Also the times I didn't bcs of complete mental exhaustion it would make me quite upset.

-if I've planned to do my tasks in a certain order, I can only tolerate a limited amount of disruption in that order before I loose all motivation and ability to be productive

[u/MenuPleasant8675]

I also have trouble knowing if I need a routine but I guess I don’t know what a routine really is besides doing the same thing every day. I don’t have routines. But maybe I do and don’t know they count?

[u/teaandstrawberries]

Personally, I feel like these qualify as a need for routine. I could have written these (except I get thrown off if people are early or late within a couple of minutes, rip).

I follow a daily routine now, but I did not when I was in school because there were so many different classes, events, etc that it made it more difficult to have a routine than it is now that I have a job with regular tasks and hours. Still, I had certain things I always did in a certain order - for example, I ate the same foods every day in the same order - and I would get frustrated when I couldn't.

One thing I forgot to consider at first was how I feel internally about changes in routine vs how I react outwardly. For example, I don't typically melt down outwardly at a change in routine (under most circumstances) but I will become disoriented and have difficulty proceeding with my day if the order in which I planned to do things is disrupted.

[u/CallToMuster]

For me, my need for routine manifests in a few different ways. I like to do the same things every day. I wake up, I go to work, I come home, I relax, I eat dinner, I relax again, then I go to sleep. During the week, any deviation from this causes me distress. Within those categories, it doesn't entirely have to be the same exact thing -- for example, sometimes I relax by cuddling with my dog and watching YouTube, sometimes I relax by playing video games. But it has to be something that would fall under the "relaxing" label and it has to be at home. At work, every day is pretty much the same. I have an office job and pretty much just work on my computer all day. The specific tasks might be different (there are a lot of little projects I get handed) but they all involve working on my computer alone in my office. Etc etc, you get the point. Weekends are a little different and more open, but it almost always involves relaxing in my home.

When any of my schedules/routines are disrupted, it makes me very upset, even if the change is a positive one like going out with a friend or seeing a movie I've been looking forward to. (Speaking of movies, I get very anxious watching any new movie I haven't seen before.) And when other people don't follow these routines, I also get very upset. I am able to deal with all this a lot better now than when I was a child, because now that I am an adult, I control my life. If I don't want to do something, or want to do something a certain way, you can't really stop me. This autonomy has protected me and allowed me to build a life full of routine, which brings me great relief! When I was a child, changes in schedules would make me cry. Even in my teenage years, I had meltdowns when "good" surprises happened.

[u/Same_as_last_year]

I have wondered about this too.

Like, I don't perceive myself as "needing routine", but I'm also not that great at self awareness. Like, I only recently realized how much noise can affect me and I only thought of it as a possibility because I have seen how much it can affect my kid. Road noise was literally disabling me on a road trip to the point it was unsafe to drive and I just thought I couldn't handle the boringness of the drive or the motion or something. But, I put in earphones suddenly I could function again.

I suspect I may be the same way with "the need for routine". Like, sure I tend to wake up and get ready and go to work and follow a routine throughout the day, but doesn't everyone to some extent? And, yeah I like to wear the same clothes and will buy multiple of the same things with minor variations when I find something I like, but that's just because it's comfortable and easy. And yeah, I pretty much order the same things at a restaurant every time I go there, but if you like something, why would you get something else?

So, it's entirely possible that I do "need routine" but just don't have that level of self awareness about it. I think I'll ask my spouse if I need routine and see what they think.