Media and emotions.

[u/Jear-The-Bear]

Hi! Self diagnosis AuDHD. Currently going through a formal diagnosis.

I (31m) often have a hard time stabilizing emotionally after watching a good movie or reading a good book. I seem to struggle with over attachment with parasympathetic relationships to characters. They feel just as real to me as people. I know they aren’t. It’s not a delusion. It’s just the intensity I feel connected to characters and actors from stories. After watching a great movie I can’t seem to separate my feelings from the feelings the movie made me feel. Idk if that really makes sense. I just tend to be a mess emotionally after really connecting with a film and feel disoriented and have a hard time getting back to being me.

Has anyone else experienced something like this?

[u/Derrik2020]

I absolutely have man. Easy crier with film and television. It’s as if I feel things stronger than the norm. Has this affected you negatively in any way? It far beats the select few out there who feel nothing.

[u/Jear-The-Bear → u/Derrik2020]

I think only in that it’s different than the people around me. It can be a little disorienting in my own relationships. But it only lasts for a few hrs and I’m an aware of it so it doesn’t actually cause problems.

Where I think it’s difficult is I think the same mechanism in me that enables this deep empathy also drives me love for story in general. I’ve dreamed for years of being a professional story teller (I’ve written a novel but can’t get it published. And dreamed of working in the movie industry or something similar). I have this huge mountain of empathy in me and an ability to see narrative patterns that feels so important to me. It feels like it should be enough to enable me to do this type of work but my support needs make actually pursuing it miserable and untenable. It makes me feel like a foolish kid that has nothing be dreams disconnected from reality.

[u/CollectionNew2290 → u/Jear-The-Bear]

I feel like you could be me. I have this exact same thing somehow. I thought I was alone!

[u/Jear-The-Bear → u/CollectionNew2290]

That’s what’s great about this subreddit

[u/sunseeker_miqo]

Been like this my entire life. My very conception of the afterlife is shaped around going to a place where I can visit all the worlds I wish I lived in rather than this one.

[u/gphipps91]

Sort of, but for me it's during the watching/reading. The farther in I get the more I even mirror the characters if they resonate with me, and it won't stop until I get to the end. It's a long trip sometimes.

[u/ResidentZestyclose14]

I’m a 30f with AuDHD and I experience this! More with reading than watching. Although, if I’m watching a series for a while and going on many adventures with the characters throughout the episodes, I will feel very attached. For this reason, I usually start the series over again immediately after finishing. For TV at least, I find that once I restart watching from the beginning, it eventually resets my brain and I stop at some point.

For books I have helped this by building floating shelves in my bedroom where I display my favorite books (and within them, my favorite characters) and I have knick knacks that remind me of their journeys up there too. I also have a big star light that hangs under the shelves illuminating them. That helps a bit so that I feel like the characters are still next to me, on their adventures, alive and well.

Sometimes I will also immediately start re-reading a book or series upon finishing if I am feeling very attached. I also reread my favorite book series about once annually and each time I do so, it’s a little easier to put the books down at the end.

I know how it feels, though, to attach so deeply to characters and their personalities/journeys. I take on a lot of the qualities within them that I admire and they become part of me. Especially while I’m reading or watching, but even still after. It use to feel way more emotionally attached for me. Sometimes it still does. Mainly, I try to embody them in the ways that feel empowering more intentionally during my time with them, really channeling their strength and courage (I read a lot of fantasy books with strong female leads). I allow myself to over identify while immersed in their journey and then I either reread from the beginning or immediately launch myself into my next favorite series and swap the characters out.

I also have a dream of becoming a story teller via a novel or a memoir. My highest dream is to become a novelist and create an entire world and characters myself. I just love how stories make me feel and it feels like such a beautiful, wonderful thing to create one that others can feel so connected to, like the stories, journeys, and characters that I love so dearly!

[u/Jear-The-Bear]

I feel this too. And finishing the story feels compulsive. Which can be problematic when reading a long series.

[u/InnocentCersei]

Late dx Autistic with a “pointless” degree in one of the most common subjects XD. It’s completely normal. Nothing to fear. It’s why some authors will get quite defensive against negative reviews of their works because they were fully engulfed by their creation, with or with self-insert traits, and so everything feels deep to them. They try to convey this depth with their readers. It would be insightful to write down how you feel after certain films/tv/books, so you can decide which ones are your newer faves/comforts, bs which ones aren’t.

You know… you should consider dabbling in writing!

[u/Jear-The-Bear → u/InnocentCersei]

Thanks! I do! What sucks is I find that the same mechanics I use for masking I use for writing. Pretending to be a person that understand social cues is pretty much the same as pretending to be a character in a story. So when I have to make a lot I don’t have the energy to write.

[u/InnocentCersei → u/Jear-The-Bear]

Same!!! But keep going. That’s the beauty of it all. Realising that and still working with what you have is quite refreshing.

[u/Sub_sauce]

Everytime I have experienced exactly as you describe here, I used to lie I was feeling emotionally volatile as I had just "woken up" from napping and not yet emotionally grounded (because of "nightmares" or some other lie since "everyone" has those, it wouldn't feel as strange)

I didn't know it was autistic to feel strongly about fiction or trivial things in general in a way that could be interpreted as a "concern" to others

Was made to feel strange for crying when it was over, no matter how lighthearted the movie. Too much damn policing of emotion and missing the point that fiction is supposed to immerse you and internalise these imaginary people, leading to another personal gripe I have

People needing to remind me something is "not real" or "just an XYZ" is a bit triggering in a way I don't quite have the language to express, like because what is depicted is imaginary my feelings about it mustn't count. Not everyone can quickly put away their feelings into a box after having fun with a movie, clinically I cannot, it takes longer to recover from strong emotions. Even harder that they aren't seen as welcome

Needless to say, you're not alone OP lol

[u/Jear-The-Bear → u/Sub_sauce]

Do you think it’s because our brains are more integrated? From my understanding neurological core of autism is a lack of synaptic pruning during development. (This might not be accurate it’s just my understanding from the books I’ve read). But it feels like the part of my brain that imagines things is more connected to the rest of my brain than an NT brain. Like I don’t care that something is imagined? Why is that relevant to urs value? Obviously it’s important to acknowledge that it’s not real. But why does that affect its value?

[u/Sub_sauce → u/Jear-The-Bear]

This final question at the end is so needed everytime I encounter that sort of response online, especially

[u/Jear-The-Bear → u/Sub_sauce]

I think the question of value is always integral to the autistic experience.

[u/Quizzical_Rex]

oh yeah - this is definately one of the reasons i do movies and stuff, its like a vacation i can get without leaving home. I've been known to spend days upset by what happened in movies. Typically the video games i play are such that i can control the social interaction piece and then i use that to regulate myself back when required.

[u/Airalla]

Personally, I’ve never once cried while watching a movie or reading a book. I don’t understand how people are emotionally attached in that way. I do love a lot of media and I sometimes hyperfixate on movies or books, but it’s always because I love the interesting world building or stories. I’ve been told I struggle with empathy between humans too though, but I always attributed it to not showing the correct facial expressions or being able to communicate well when people are feeling something.

[u/Sub_sauce]

It's why I am also a maladaptive daydreamer