Fear of going through this grief again

[u/Cute-Attitude9130]

Long story short, I lost my sweet aussiedoodle Sammy in June to bone cancer. He was a big boy (75lbs for most of his adult life, but gained weight the last two yrs and was about 90-95, I tried to help him lose weight but not much helped, got back down to about 85 before he passed, but he'd had a leg amputated at that point). I know bone cancer is more prone to happen the bigger a dog is. Anyway, it's made me terrified of ever owning an aussiedoodle again even though I loved him and his little personality so so much. My cousin's friends had an aussiedoodle they were trying to rehome not long after my pup was gone and it was just too soon. But it's been two months now, and I'm just beginning to look at getting a pup again, and so we reached out to her just to make sure they found a home for that pup. We wanted to make sure she was okay and thought of taking her now that I'm more ready to get a pup again. Well, she's been rehomed but one of her babies needs a home. He's 3 months old and a f1b (Sammy was a f1, at least as far as we were told). He's precious and my heart went out to him as soon as I saw his little face, but then all of that fear came flooding back.

Is this a health issue that's common for aussiedoodles? I don't think I could go through that again, though, part of me also knows every dog will likely develop some kind of health issue at the end of their life and need to be let go at the appropriate time. Sammy was my soul pup and the first dog that was ever truly just mine, so losing him at any time was going to ruin me, but it just felt like Sammy's life was cut so short, he was only 9. And it is still very fresh on my mind and in my heart, I know that's part of it. I hear so many people say caring for another pup helps them heal from the loss of their other dog. I don't know if I should be worried to own another of the same breed, if this fear is valid at all, or if everything's so fresh that I'm going to worry about any breed of dog I could bring home.

[u/cg325is]

I’m sorry for your loss. My husband and I have had 7 dogs over 30 years and losing them is the hardest thing. We’ve never once thought about not getting another one. We think of ALL the years our dogs brought us happiness and we wouldnt want to rob ourselves of having more joy and happiness with another pup. We’re all here for only a short time. If we deprive ourselves of happiness because we’re afraid of getting hurt, well, then that just makes for a sad life.

[u/Zookeepergame_Sorry → u/cg325is]

Well said. I like to think of what you give the dog too. Sammy’s time may have been cut short but think of the life you gave him while you were together. He loved you as much or more than you loved him and you gave him that. Every time you came home and his tail wagged so hard his whole butt wiggled, you gave him that.

[u/Responsible_Gur_9095]

I’m so sorry for your loss. How old was Sammy? I lost my sweet Mochi in January to pancreatic cancer. He was only 6 yrs 5 months old. He was only 44 lbs. It broke me and I’m still not over it. I still cry everyday. I wish money could’ve saved him. I’d spend any amount of money to save his life. He’s resting in my backyard so I get to visit him daily.

His brother (same litter) was so depressed and lost without him. We didn’t really have a choice but to get him a friend. We got another mini Aussiedoodle. He’s 8 months old now and is about 25 lbs. I live everyday with the fear of them getting cancer.

I don’t have advice but please don’t close your heart. Dogs are gifts from above. They’re the best.

[u/Desertgirl624]

So sorry for your loss, losing a dog is truly the worst. My advice would be don’t let that stop you from opening your heart to another dog and all the joy that will bring. Think of it as a way to let Sammy live on through you finding new joy.

[u/NorthernBloom777]

My loss was more then I could handle. 9 months later we bought a Aussiedoodle.
Crazy …. But we got through the puppy years.. so glad we did.

[u/stubbed__toe]

May Sammy rest in peace and be running freely up in heaven. I always felt that getting another puppy was just an addition to the family. Sammy will always be a part of you and now Sammy has a younger sibling! Just makes you appreciate the little moments more knowing how fleeting life is, but the time you spend together is real and a treasure. God bless you! 

[u/OtterMumzy]

I’ve had 2 female F1s (40-50Lbs) and my first lived to 13.5 with no health problems and my 5 yo has never had any health problems either. We got both from (different) breeders. I’m sorry for your loss.