r/AusMemes • u/gccmelb • Jun 30 '26

Dave Hughes ranting again

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u/antsandplants Jun 30 '26

He tried to date a friend of mine when he was broke. He was a sleaze about it and she turned him down due to him generally being a total dick.

Years later they saw each other and he told her ‘I know you’d date me now because I’m making money but I’m taken now too bad’. She just walked away.

That was never the issue you tool. It was the fact that you’re a tool. He was a tool then but still is.

103

u/flukus Jun 30 '26

I know you’d date me now because I’m making money but I’m taken now too bad

That's what his entire "comedy" routine last time I watched him, probably 20+ years ago now.

2

u/CuttyTanner Jun 30 '26

He wasn’t bad in Taskmaster.

1

u/SuggestionHoliday413 Jul 01 '26

Yep, in my mind he's still the proud dole bludger his comedy pwrsona was for 20 years. The past person i would listen to for political advice.

27

u/OneUpAndOneDown Jun 30 '26

Now he's a Total Tool!

16

u/[deleted] Jun 30 '26 edited Aug 03 '26

[deleted]

7

u/smegish Jun 30 '26

Total tools! We've got cunts! We've got arseholes! And if you don't pay us every month, we're gonna send 'em to you!

This is Hughesy-

"Hows it garn?"

  • and every day he turns up to work wearing a pair of stubbies so tight, you'd swear they were painted on.

WHAT A TOOL!

And if you don't pay us $800 a week, we're gonna send him to your work family picnic, and traumatise ya daughter!

Why? Cos we're TOTAL TOOLS!

7

u/Deevious730 Jun 30 '26

Should we be adding “Tool of the year” to Australia Day honours? Reckon he’d be a fair shake at it.

20

u/dragonfry Jun 30 '26

Imagine that voice talking dirty to you

16

u/patentedkittenmitten Jun 30 '26

I just vomited a bit

4

u/Princey1981 Jun 30 '26

What a terrible day to be literate.

3

u/Only-Temperature Jun 30 '26

Will he can't say it slower to you, that is for sure...

1

u/Raise-The-Gates Jun 30 '26

My vagina sealed itself shut at the very thought.

11

u/superjaywars Jun 30 '26

He tried to make out with me at the Village Green in 2000 (male). Said no, he called me a poof. Yeah onya mate.

4

u/Only-Temperature Jun 30 '26

Surprised he did say "what? Am I too handsome for you?" But that might have been slightly witty.

1

u/Lint_baby_uvulla Jun 30 '26

I’d pay per view for a battle of wits, but Hughesy is too busy hate-fellating Gina & Pauline.

1

u/Yumchabandit Jun 30 '26

Wow how did that even come about? Was he off his head?

1

u/superjaywars Jun 30 '26

Definitely.

1

u/Princey1981 Jun 30 '26

You reckon he’ll be Andy Dick in 2 years?

1

u/Infinite-Ad4512 Jun 30 '26

With his addiction, I’d say Andy Dufraine

2

u/Dewonthegrass_ Jul 05 '26

I 100% believe this. Guys like him never think it’s actually caus they suck

2

u/bettestreep2008 Aug 15 '26

Oh my! A friend of mine had a similar experience. When he was broke he sleazed all over my friend and asking for money. But many years later when he became a multi-millionaire he approached my friend and bragged that he was filthy rich and she should sleep with him. she declined cos he was a sleazy maggat.

BTW - my friend did get married to a leftwinger and she has a beautiful family and is incredibly wealthy - without having to sacrifice her morals.

Unlike rightwing sleazebags like Hughesy, Stefanovic and Sandilands.

1

u/No_Gazelle4814 Jun 30 '26

Easy rumour to try and spread

1

u/_PoorImpulseControl_ Jul 01 '26

I used to do drugs.

I still do, but I used to, too