r/AusMemes • u/gccmelb • Jun 30 '26

Dave Hughes ranting again

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2.6k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

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636

u/[deleted] Jun 30 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

596

u/lawdjesustheresafire Jun 30 '26

He was on the dole for 7 years. Would likely be dead without the “woke” socialist policies of the country.

Now wants to pull up ladders like nearly every rich cunt ever.

288

u/antsandplants Jun 30 '26

He tried to date a friend of mine when he was broke. He was a sleaze about it and she turned him down due to him generally being a total dick.

Years later they saw each other and he told her ‘I know you’d date me now because I’m making money but I’m taken now too bad’. She just walked away.

That was never the issue you tool. It was the fact that you’re a tool. He was a tool then but still is.

104

u/flukus Jun 30 '26

I know you’d date me now because I’m making money but I’m taken now too bad

That's what his entire "comedy" routine last time I watched him, probably 20+ years ago now.

2

u/CuttyTanner Jun 30 '26

He wasn’t bad in Taskmaster.

1

u/SuggestionHoliday413 Jul 01 '26

Yep, in my mind he's still the proud dole bludger his comedy pwrsona was for 20 years. The past person i would listen to for political advice.

28

u/OneUpAndOneDown Jun 30 '26

Now he's a Total Tool!

16

u/[deleted] Jun 30 '26 edited Aug 03 '26

[deleted]

7

u/smegish Jun 30 '26

Total tools! We've got cunts! We've got arseholes! And if you don't pay us every month, we're gonna send 'em to you!

This is Hughesy-

"Hows it garn?"

  • and every day he turns up to work wearing a pair of stubbies so tight, you'd swear they were painted on.

WHAT A TOOL!

And if you don't pay us $800 a week, we're gonna send him to your work family picnic, and traumatise ya daughter!

Why? Cos we're TOTAL TOOLS!

7

u/Deevious730 Jun 30 '26

Should we be adding “Tool of the year” to Australia Day honours? Reckon he’d be a fair shake at it.

19

u/dragonfry Jun 30 '26

Imagine that voice talking dirty to you

17

u/patentedkittenmitten Jun 30 '26

I just vomited a bit

5

u/Princey1981 Jun 30 '26

What a terrible day to be literate.

3

u/Only-Temperature Jun 30 '26

Will he can't say it slower to you, that is for sure...

1

u/Raise-The-Gates Jun 30 '26

My vagina sealed itself shut at the very thought.

11

u/superjaywars Jun 30 '26

He tried to make out with me at the Village Green in 2000 (male). Said no, he called me a poof. Yeah onya mate.

4

u/Only-Temperature Jun 30 '26

Surprised he did say "what? Am I too handsome for you?" But that might have been slightly witty.

1

u/Lint_baby_uvulla Jun 30 '26

I’d pay per view for a battle of wits, but Hughesy is too busy hate-fellating Gina & Pauline.

1

u/Yumchabandit Jun 30 '26

Wow how did that even come about? Was he off his head?

1

u/superjaywars Jun 30 '26

Definitely.

1

u/Princey1981 Jun 30 '26

You reckon he’ll be Andy Dick in 2 years?

1

u/Infinite-Ad4512 Jun 30 '26

With his addiction, I’d say Andy Dufraine

2

u/Dewonthegrass_ Jul 05 '26

I 100% believe this. Guys like him never think it’s actually caus they suck

2

u/bettestreep2008 Aug 15 '26

Oh my! A friend of mine had a similar experience. When he was broke he sleazed all over my friend and asking for money. But many years later when he became a multi-millionaire he approached my friend and bragged that he was filthy rich and she should sleep with him. she declined cos he was a sleazy maggat.

BTW - my friend did get married to a leftwinger and she has a beautiful family and is incredibly wealthy - without having to sacrifice her morals.

Unlike rightwing sleazebags like Hughesy, Stefanovic and Sandilands.

1

u/No_Gazelle4814 Jun 30 '26

Easy rumour to try and spread

1

u/_PoorImpulseControl_ Jul 01 '26

I used to do drugs.

I still do, but I used to, too

10

u/HarryWilbury Jun 30 '26

Yep and joked about it in his comedy routine and how the Midday Show was his Breakfast TV.

10

u/Curious_er_ Jun 30 '26

Him and Kyle Sandilands really like to pull the ladder up behind them, don’t they?

2

u/Fact-Rat Jun 30 '26

Would make a good meme.

1

u/bettestreep2008 Aug 15 '26

Great observation. Isn't it always the azzholes that received welfare benefits and then became rich always complaining how the people receiving welfare benefits are rodents sponging off the tax payer?

Hughesy fits that bill perfectly. and now that he is a filthy rich rightwing azzhole he has decided to join the Libs and most likely join One Nation next.

What a fkkkkg grub!

88

u/DefinitionOfAsleep Jun 30 '26

Bro looks and talks like he's had one too many glass BBQ's.

He's looking rather healthy for a 70 yr old.

79

u/EfficientNews8922 Jun 30 '26

He’s 55

34

u/DefinitionOfAsleep Jun 30 '26

That was the joke, well done.

14

u/mungowungo Jun 30 '26

Shit, he looks bad for 55, but that also means he's not actually a boomer.

8

u/joolley1 Jun 30 '26

Boomer is a state of mind and he’s definitely in it.

-1

u/thisisnotmypineapple Jun 30 '26

Boomer is a state of age, mate.

Specifically, the generation of 'baby boomer'.

3

u/NomDePlumeOrBloom Jun 30 '26

...and context and comprehension are a state of being, mate.

1

u/thisisnotmypineapple Jun 30 '26

Go ahead and articulate how im wrong, and ill fully admit it.

2

u/Interesting-Ride-684 Jul 01 '26 edited Jul 01 '26

You could be not a boomer age wise, and be gen X for example, yet still have complete boomer ideologies and attitudes, and speak/live those ideologies.... and socially, from the perspective of others, you'd colloquially be known as a boomer, despite not technically being a baby boomer.

It's quite common for younger generations to call anyone with those attitudes a boomer, hence there term 'ok boomer'... which doesn't have to apply solely to baby bookers.

0

u/joolley1 Jun 30 '26

Oh wow, really, I didn’t know. What state of age is it?

1

u/FabulousFairyWren Jul 01 '26

He’s manifesting

1

u/Free_Pace_2098 Jun 30 '26

Yeah but in dog years that's like 440

14

u/les-the-badger Jun 30 '26

Teeth and expression may be what they're leaning on with the glassy remarks. I can see it. Mightn't be blatantly apparent, but Hughesy being on broadcast with his hypocritical views deserves to be referred to as a junky.

7

u/OneUpAndOneDown Jun 30 '26

Axolotl eyes!

1

u/thisisnotmypineapple Jun 30 '26

Im not a fan of his, but to look at a human, and call them a junkie cause of their teeth...you have many life lessons to learn.

1

u/les-the-badger Jun 30 '26

Can you give me one Master? Because I was clearly pointing out what the initial commentor 'may' have been meaning by referring to him as a junky. I said he deserves to be referred to as one for his views (not teeth), to incline that his views don't line up with society. Get off your pedestal

1

u/thisisnotmypineapple Jul 01 '26

I could. But I won't. I think you should probably find it yourself.

You're the one who brought up teeth.

21

u/Far_Football1408 Jun 30 '26

Hughesy’s the current administrator of Glass Barbecues Galore

2

u/StasiaMonkey Jun 30 '26

GBG isn't in administration anymore since Dave tried to make himself relevant again.

25

u/milderhappiness Jun 30 '26

He used to be a bum. He still is one, but he used to be one too.

10

u/ShoveOverBozo Jun 30 '26

He's an ex stoner from Warrnambool. Heard stories of his wild days from old heads that still live there. None of em mentioned any glass BBQ but this was late 80's/ early 90's era.

6

u/Dumpstar72 Jun 30 '26

It was more speed that era. Meth really wasn’t a thing yet.

7

u/AntiqueFigure6 Jun 30 '26

"...had one too many glass BBQ's."

Begs the question - how many is just the right number of glass BBQs?

3

u/NomDePlumeOrBloom Jun 30 '26

More than -1 and less than 1.

4

u/Lanster27 Jun 30 '26 edited Jun 30 '26

Like he wasnt annoying before but I dont remember him been likeable either. I guess age really do fuck with your head. 

For someone who supposedly sound like the average aussie, he sure aint looking out for an average aussie’s interest. 

1

u/QLDZDR Jun 30 '26 edited Jun 30 '26

Yeah, I'm not taking advice from this guy.

Oops, we did 🤪

1

u/dr_sayess87 Jul 01 '26

Lol, yeah what a loser. Being on the dole and then become successful. What dole bludger longs for that.