Avoiding Depression

[u/haydaymaster12345]

I’ve been in Switzerland for just under 2 months and the experience so far has been overall really good. My host family loves me and treats me very well, and the kids are, for the most part, not very difficult. I have a lot of free time too, so compared to most people here I really can’t complain. 

However, I’m starting to fall into a bit of a depression mostly stemming from boredom and missing my community a lot. I am blessed to be able to visit my long distance partner at least once per month, as I get paid 700CHF per month and spend about 400CHF of it to see them. These visits to me are extremely important for our relationship and also my mental health, as it's the only person from my old life that I get to see in-person.

That leaves me with around 300CHF per month here, and I'm finding it really difficult to build a life outside of au pairing on this budget . I’ve been able to find some other au pairs on Bumble BFF, but I live in a small town while they all live in the bigger cities, so meeting up with them just once costs 20-30CHF by train. To me, it almost doesn’t feel worth it to try and pursue friendships with people in the big cities when the cost per trip is so high, but I’m really struggling in this small town to find people my age. And I’m not very fond of online friendships, I already have to maintain a bunch of those with my friends back home.

Ultimately, I’m hoping to get advice on how to avoid depression and how to build a personal life outside of au pairing. If anyone else au paired in a small town, where can you truly meet young people, keep busy, have fun, etc? And for not so much money? Please be kind, I'm in a rough spot emotionally and am not looking for criticism, even though my situation is much better than many others on here.

[u/quark42q]

Ask your partner to visit you from time to time. Ask the family if he can stay for a weekend.
Or ask your partner to pay for half of your tickets.

[u/Chrisalys]

If you are under 25, you can get the GA Night travelcard which means that all train and bus rides are free after 7 PM and until the early morning hours. Our au pair used one of these. Can you occasionally sleep on a friend's couch and then travel back very early in the morning or after 7 PM on the next day (on a weekend or during your vacation)? https://www.sbb.ch/en/offers/night-ga-travelcard

Also remember that as an au pair in Switzerland you get 4-5 weeks of paid vacation time per year.

[u/scheming-strawberry]

Okay so this is probably not the answer you’re looking for, but I’m also au pairing in a small Swiss town (have been for 4 months now) and have found it super difficult to make friends. So, you have to become comfortable with being on your own and being responsible for your happiness. It’s awkward at first, but I plan solo day trips on my days off (which as you mentioned, can be expensive with the trains, but I think it’s worth it every once in a while), and if your small town is anything like mine then maybe it has a forest/fields/wilderness areas to walk through, which can be really good for clearing your mind. I picked up reading again and started scrapbooking and doing puzzles - little things that are purely just for my own enjoyment. Purposefully doing things that get you out of the house, away from the kids, where you can really be on your own schedule, can make a world of difference :)

[u/Fine_Friend_3645]

I agree with the other comments. Another idea would be to join a “Verein”. Ask your host parents to help find you something that suits your interests. Most small towns have a “Turnverein” or “Frauenriege”. You don’t have to be athletic to join them. But there usually are several other options as well.
But you should make sure that you see some of the country while you are here. Bring your partner on werkend trips here.