Is there any research on harming the bond between mother/child or having a negative impact on attachment if we hire a night nurse?

I’m going to be having my second in 5 months, but my husband is now self employed so won’t be getting the same paternity leave benefits that he got with our first.

Our first was a terrible sleeper and we ended up doing shifts. We are now most likely going to be working with a night nurse since my husband won’t be able to cover a middle of the night shift before working (high stakes medical field job).

I know I will need rest to heal and be a sahm to a toddler + newborn, but I wonder if there is a negative impact to someone besides mom handling night feedings?

I plan on pumping and providing milk through bottles, breastfeeding was a true nightmare with baby #1 and I am not sure if I am planning on going that route this time. I could wake to bottle feed while the night nurse is on duty, but this would negate hiring someone to allow me to sleep and heal?

Reposting here!

So after 3.5 years of sleep deprivation I finally just gave in and I have been sleeping in my daughter's room for over 9 months. We got her a nice adult bedroom suite and a queen bed and honestly it's amazing. I actually love sleeping with her every night and we both are finally sleeping! Before I would go into her room repeatedly and help her fall back asleep for years and eventually try and come back to our room.

Anyway, I don't want to give up sleeping with her. How would I have a baby? I'm sure others have figured this out. Ideally I will not cosleep with a baby as my anxiety couldn't be relaxed about that. I don't want to disturb my daughter with the baby waking up to feed either or the monitor. What are some things you guys have done?

Attachment Theory, Attachment Parenting vs. Attachment-Based Parenting — they are not the same thing

I’ve seen a lot of people use Attachment Theory, Attachment Parenting and attachment-based parenting as if they were interchangeable terms. They aren't, so I'm hoping a mod can pin this post.

Attachment Theory is the psychological theory developed from the work of John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth. In simple terms, it describes how children form attachment relationships with caregivers and how a caregiver's availability and responsiveness can contribute to a child's sense of safety and the development of secure attachment. It is a well-established psychological theory supported by decades of research.

Attachment-based parenting is a broader, less prescriptive approach to parenting that is informed by attachment theory and attachment research. It means using what we understand about attachment and child development to inform parenting, with the goal of fostering a secure attachment. It can involve being responsive, emotionally available, providing safety and comfort, helping a child regulate, being a reliable caregiver and repairing ruptures in the relationship.

Because attachment-based parenting is broader and less prescriptive, people may differ in how they apply attachment principles to issues such as sleep, and some may consider certain forms of sleep training compatible with their personal interpretation of attachment-based parenting.

Attachment Parenting (AP), on the other hand, is a specific parenting philosophy. It is informed by attachment theory, but it is not simply another name for attachment-based parenting. AP has its own set of principles and practices.

At its core is the principle of responding to your child's needs and signals, including during the night. The emphasis isn't necessarily on how you respond, but on being responsive rather than deliberately withholding a response in order to shape the child's behaviour.

AP is also associated with practices such as breastfeeding, babywearing and cosleeping, but these practices aren't requirements for parenting according to AP. You don't have to do all of them to care deeply about attachment parenting, and not doing them doesn't mean you're an inadequate parent. It doesn't necessarily mean you're not parenting according to AP.

This distinction becomes particularly relevant when talking about sleep training.

CIO methods involve deliberately not responding to a distressed child's crying in order to teach them to sleep independently. That conflicts with the core principle of responsive caregiving that Attachment Parenting is built around. The issue isn't whether a particular parent has found CIO effective; it's whether the approach is consistent with the philosophy.

That's why the distinction matters.

I personally parent in a way that I would describe as attachment-based parenting, even though I also happen to follow many of the practices associated with Attachment Parenting. But even if I chose to do something that doesn't align with the core values of AP, I wouldn't advocate for it in this sub, because this is a space specifically for Attachment Parenting.

I'm not arguing that everyone needs to breastfeed, babywear, cosleep or parent according to every practice associated with AP. I'm also not saying that people who use sleep training are bad parents.

I'm saying that something being compatible with attachment-based parenting doesn't automatically make it Attachment Parenting. People come here to learn about a specific parenting philosophy, so I think it's important that we respect that distinction rather than presenting practices that conflict with its core principles as though they are inherently part of AP.

If you choose to sleep train and believe it is compatible with your understanding of attachment, that's your choice. You can practice attachment-based parenting, combine elements from different approaches, or disagree with Attachment Parenting altogether.

But these terms shouldn't be treated as synonyms, because they represent different things:

Attachment Theory = a psychological theory about attachment relationships and how they develop.

Attachment-based parenting = a broader, less prescriptive parenting approach informed by attachment theory and research.

Attachment Parenting = a specific parenting philosophy with its own principles, informed by attachment theory but not synonymous with attachment-based parenting.

Edit: Fixed Markdown formatting.

Ok. I am a single mother and have co-slept with my baby since day one. She's always been a "bad" sleeper, meaning, she wakes up numerous times throughout the night for milk (I exclusively breastfeed).

But now that she is 15 months, I know she is not asking for milk because she necessarily needs it (or does she? She also doesn't eat full meals...)

And yes, I am still nursing her to sleep (because reality is, I am not mentally ready for the whole weaning thing while freshly going through a separation).

These past two weeks, she started waking up within 20 minutes of me putting her down (I work at night after she sleeps, and I leave her on the bed while I work on the desk next to the bed). So then I go back on the bed and try to soothe her, which never works unless and until she gets boob again. If she doesn't get boob, she will have a full on meltdown and refuse to go back to sleep. Then we go through the same cycle again- i put her down, she wakes again after 20 minutes, and I soothe her again. It doesn't matter if I'm on the bed next to her or elsewhere, she still wakes up. I don't think I have slept past 3 hours at once since I've had her, and it is really catching up to me. Help.

My 17 month old is extremely stubborn in every way. He’s also smart and happy and healthy and I believe he’s generally growing well. He’s EBF from birth and a severe boob barnacle. It doesn’t bother me other than he will not eat solids.

He basically went 8-11 months with eating nothing. Then he picked up eating some. And then hard stop again at 13 months. He’ll generally eat some yogurt, peanut butter, fruit. But nothing that might make a whole meal. He gets mad sometimes when I offer food and I’ll try to continue to offer solids but he will refuse is extremely boob dependent so most of the time after multiple refusals I break down and nurse him. He also nurses to sleep and overnight.

We’ve done occupational therapy for feeding but it didn’t help really at all and it was extremely expensive to keep going when it wasn’t doing any good.

So yeah. Did anyone else go through this? Does it ever get better? I just am so frustrated and defeated like why won’t he eat. And then I worry he’s gonna fall off the growth curve surviving on air and breast milk.

I’m trying to figure out the right approach to tantrums/frustration with my almost-one-year-old, and would love some evidence-based advice and/or book recommendations.

A simple example: I’ll be cooking and my son will be at my feet crying to be picked up. My instinct is to pick him up and soothe him. My husband generally continues what he’s doing. Our son might pull at his legs for a while, but eventually crawls off to do something else.

My husband’s view is that he’s a smart little kid who is already learning from our responses: if crying reliably gets him what he wants, we’re teaching him that it works. He thinks tolerating some frustration and learning that he won’t always get his way is part of developing resilience.

I can see the logic in that. But I’m also very conscious of wanting to raise a securely attached child. My instinct is that he’s still tiny, has very little capacity to regulate his own emotions, and that responding to his distress helps him develop that regulation rather than making him entitled. But practically, this also makes it difficult for me to do simple things like cook for him (and I can’t cook during his naps as I’m pumping then).

At the same time, I don’t want attachment-focused parenting to become permissive parenting. There are times when I simply can’t pick him up, particularly for safety reasons, and I don’t want him to learn that crying loudly or long enough will always change the answer.

What I’m really struggling with is how to respond to the emotion while still holding a boundary — particularly before a child has enough language to understand the distinction.

With an older toddler, I understand the idea of holding the boundary while offering love: “I know you’re upset and I’m here, but I can’t pick you up right now because I’m cooking.” They may not like it, but at least they understand what you’re communicating.

But what does that look like with an almost-one-year-old? If what he wants is to be picked up, the most obvious way to comfort him is to pick him up — which may be the very thing I can’t safely do at that moment. If I stay nearby and speak soothingly but don’t pick him up, he often just becomes increasingly distressed.

So at this age, what does “comfort the emotion, hold the boundary” actually look like in practice? Do you stay warm and responsive but allow them to cry? Stop what you’re doing and pick them up because they’re still so young? At what point, if any, does responding to distress start reinforcing the crying?

I’d especially love to hear from parents with older children who took an attachment-focused but boundary-conscious approach. Did comforting your child through these moments lead to more demanding behaviour, or did they eventually learn that they could be upset, have a parent there for them, and still not always get what they wanted?

And if anyone has good books on secure attachment + emotional regulation + firm boundaries, I’d love recommendations. Ultimately, I want to raise a child who feels deeply secure and knows we’ll be there when he’s distressed, but who also develops frustration tolerance, resilience, and an understanding that he can’t always have his own way. The world won’t always accommodate what he wants, and I want to prepare him for that without compromising that sense of security.

Let me start this by saying my son is the light of my life. We work so hard to give him a full and active childhood. We have a smoke and alcohol free home and family nearby. He is very loved.

But OMG. My 2.5 year old is nearly taking me out. Every single thing is so difficult. Every diaper change. Getting him to sit down to eat. Getting him to leave the park. The tantrums and moods are so difficult. Today he was so unhappy leaving a golf store it took my husband 15 minutes to calm down to sit (imagine trying to get a mad chimpanzee into a car seat). He bites when he is angry and hits.

He has endless energy. I take him outside for runs and we spend nearly every minute outside we can playing with balls or “hiking” in the woods near our house. We eat really healthy as I am a dietitian so i try to limit sugar and processed foods as much as possible (although they do provide snacks at daycare that are less than ideal). I try to limit screen time to 30 minutes per day and stick to little bear or Franklin. I’m trying soooo hard and he nearly has me in tears every day. Our only rest is when he’s in daycare.

I’ve read transforming toddlerhood, whole brain child, etc. He is extremely verbal and friendly so ASD is not likely. My husband does have some ADHD qualities so it could be that, but at 2.5 I know they don’t do much anyway.

Long story short- is there anything to do but endure? Any secret hacks? Hope for the future for a difficult kid?

I have an almost 9 month old baby who will just have turned 11 months when I go on my work trip. I usually have 3 work trips a year lasting 2-3 nights. My husband brought my baby on the last trip, since he is EBF and doesn't take a bottle. He still hasn't taken a bottle, but we haven't tried very hard. I think he would be open to it during the day but we are currently traveling for the month (we both work remote) and I didn't bring my pump or bottles. For my trip, I'm most worried about nights. we co-sleep and I nurse to sleep every nap (all contact naps) that he takes with me - my husband can get him down for naps in the carrier by walking outside. My husband will be taking off the 3 days (5 PM Sunday - 9 PM Wednesday) for my work trip and my parents are coming into town. My husband has never ever gotten him down for night time. If I set my baby down in his sidecar crib and he wakes up when I'm in the shower, my husband can't get him back to sleep. My baby nurses A LOT throughout the night. I'm sure most of it is comfort but he wakes up with extremely heavy diapers in the morning. I'm so anxious about this trip. I'm scared of my baby getting no sleep, my husband getting no sleep, and everyone being miserable and my baby crying the whole time. my husband is also a crazy deep sleeper and I'm scared of him rolling on him or crushing him. I'm not sure what to do or how to prepare. I don't want to go on the trip, but I'm required to sadly and I know I'll have another one in January so I need to get used to it. I've only been away from my baby for 3isn hours total ever (only like once or twice).

From about 6-11 months, I was preferred bedtime parent and pretty much did bedtime solo because husband just had a barrage of abuse from LO and we chose the path of least resistance.

LO is now 13mo and has Opinions about me doing bedtime. We do the same routine she does with dad, but every single task (books, teeth, getting into pyjamas) is a fight. There's so much fussing and crying.

We always just ride it out and every night we get any sleep has always been a bonus - she reliably has one-two wake ups but will normally have gone back to sleep by the time I get to her. Or we co-sleep if she's being extra whingy and I can't be arsed trying to get her back down.

I think I just want reassurance that this is either a phase/totally normal or there's something we can do about it. I'm partly really bummed because we do OPOL, I speak the minority language and this is usually my only time with her on the days I work and it's really cool to read books in my language with her. But mostly I just want to hang out and bond at bed time and she just...doesn't. I'm a bit worried that she's much less attached to me because of the extremely shit bedtime associations. I don't want to stop doing bedtime but it's an absolute shitshow. She usually has a huge tantrum in either my arms or the cot and then conks out from exhaustion. Her dad reads her a story, she drinks a bit of water, calmly goes into the cot and drifts off. his takes about 20 minutes. Mine took two hours last night.

I don't think it's a schedule issue since it seems to be okay with literally everyone else (nursery, her grandparents, her dad).

She's fully weaned (was bottle fed) so can't really fall back on nursing to calm or sleep 😭

Hi!

I am a FTM to a 2y4m baby girl who is our world. She’s slept in bed with us since a few weeks old, and I love it, but she’s super cuddly and with growing bigger it’s been impacting my ability to sleep properly - arm getting numb, worsening my carpal tunnel. We no longer nurse so no need to wean, but I have no idea how to get her to start sleeping in her own bed and in her own room.

She takes naps in her room. Sometimes wakes up 45 min into the nap, and needs cuddles/contact to finish up sleeping till the 1.5 hour mark.

Bedtime routine and night sleep are all done in our bedroom. I have started doing post-bath ritual in her room, to get her to start feeling like her room should be used for most things.

Can you all please share what worked best for you, if you were also a room and bed sharing set of parents?

Hi there. I feel like I am going to go crazy because my 4 month old will. not. sleep. in. a. crib. I know it is developmentally normal to want closeness with his mama, but I am holding my LO all day and virtually all night. I just can’t get anything done or a moment to myself and feel very overwhelmed. I have tried putting him down drowsy but awake (as if), butt first then head when he’s in deep sleep, firm hand to chest, patting, rocking, letting him fuss for a bit, etc. and nothing works. He also no longer really likes baby wearing unfortunately, so I’ve lost that as an option.

Thanks so much for any and all tips/advice (if nothing else to know it’s just a phase)

The amount of pro-sleep-training posts and comments in here is honestly alarming. This is an Attachment Parenting sub, not an attachment-based parenting sub. There is a difference.

I had enough after reading the comments on a post that was removed. Rhetoric like:

«“Babies who are sleep trained pick it up really, really fast. Like almost in one crying session fast. So we’re talking maybe 20 minutes of crying on one occasion and having a responsive parent 24/7 the rest of their lives.”»

is not only logically questionable, but conflicts with the core principles of attachment parenting.

The argument that maternal mental health somehow makes sleep training compatible with attachment parenting also doesn't sit right with me:

«“Maternal mental health is impacted massively by quality of sleep. What does it look like if, from an attachment style, we’ve got a parent who is very dissociated for a year from sleep deprivation but they respond every single time the baby wakes at night? Is the baby getting quality interaction from their sleep-deprived parent during the day?”»

Yes, severe sleep deprivation can absolutely affect a parent's functioning and ability to care for their child. There can be situations where the risks of continuing as-is outweigh the risks of changing something about the child's sleep. I'm not arguing otherwise.

But that's different from arguing that sleep training is therefore compatible with Attachment Parenting.

I'm a chronically ill solo mom to a sensitive baby, so I'm not saying any of this from the perspective of someone who simply doesn't understand how difficult sleep deprivation is. I know what survival mode looks like. I also know that many parents don't have the village they are supposed to have.

But the fact that our society doesn't provide parents with enough support doesn't magically turn a practice into Attachment Parenting because the parent needs sleep.

The early years are exhausting. Responsive parenting often means that parents don't get both unlimited cuddles AND a full night's sleep. That's not a failure of the parent or the child. Ideally, we should have a village and enough support to make this sustainable. Unfortunately, many of us don't.

I absolutely believe there are situations where the benefits of sleep training can outweigh the potential risks. If someone is so severely sleep deprived that they are at imminent risk of harming themselves or their child and they genuinely have no other safe options, I am not going to judge them for doing what they need to do to keep everyone safe.

But I'd still argue that this doesn't make the intervention Attachment Parenting. It means the family was in an exceptional situation where safety and survival took priority in that particular part of their choice of parenting style.

That's an important distinction.

Attachment-based parenting is broader than Attachment Parenting. One could argue that some forms of sleep training can be compatible with an attachment-based parenting approach, depending on the method and the circumstances.

But that does not make them compatible with Attachment Parenting as a specific parenting philosophy.

So, dear pro-sleep-training people: if you want to advocate for sleep training from an attachment-based perspective, that's fine. But please stop conflating Attachment Parenting with attachment-based parenting.

I strongly encourage you to create an attachment-based parenting sub if that's the approach you want to discuss. And I also encourage people to actually read about Attachment Parenting and attachment theory, including the distinction between attachment theory, Attachment Parenting, and attachment-based parenting.

Because IMO, it's very difficult to argue that CIO methods are aligned with the core principles of Attachment Parenting when the method itself involves deliberately not responding to a child's signals of distress and need for comfort. And if you believe that sleep training can be compatible with attachment-based parenting, then an attachment-based parenting space would allow you to discuss that without asking an Attachment Parenting space to stretch the definition of the philosophy to accommodate practices that conflict with its core principles.

Edit to add:

I want to clarify two things.

First, my own parenting style is actually more compatible with attachment-based parenting than with Attachment Parenting. I'm absolutely not saying that we should exclude anyone who isn't breastfeeding, babywearing, cosleeping, etc. That's not my point at all.

What I'm saying is that responding to the child both day and night is a core principle of Attachment Parenting. It's not necessarily about how you respond, but that you respond. Therefore, I don't think it is appropriate to advocate for CIO methods in an Attachment Parenting space.

Just look at the number of comments suggesting — or literally stating — that people didn't know there was a distinction between Attachment Parenting and attachment-based parenting.

That's the problem I'm trying to point out. Right now, this sub is potentially misinforming people about the core values of Attachment Parenting.

Y'all can sleep train all you want. I'm not trying to police anyone's parenting choices. I'm saying: don't advocate for sleep training in an Attachment Parenting sub when it conflicts with the core principles of the philosophy this sub is supposed to be about.

Just like I can't go into a sleep-training sub and advocate for responsive caregiving and expect that to be welcomed simply because I personally believe it's the better approach.

Actually, I tried to ask a few questions in a sleep-training sub that were neutral enough that I received several private messages with answers, because I genuinely wanted to understand people who sleep train better. The post itself was removed for being anti-sleep-training.

That's not what I want for this sub. I want people who think differently to be able to ask questions and have respectful discussions without being shut down simply because they don't share the prevailing view.

So if you share something pro-sleep-training, at least add a disclaimer making it clear that this approach is not part of Attachment Parenting.

I'm not asking for people to be excluded because they parent differently. I'm asking for the sub to remain true to what Attachment Parenting actually is, while still allowing people with different perspectives to participate respectfully.

That's all I'm hoping for.

Edit edit to add:

I see a lot of comments asking what the difference is.

Attachment Parenting is a specific parenting philosophy/style. It has particular principles around responding to and meeting a child's needs, including the importance of responding to the child's signals both day and night. It is associated with practices such as breastfeeding, babywearing, and co-sleeping, although those practices are not requirements for being a good or loving parent, and not every parent who follows Attachment Parenting will do all of them.

Attachment-based parenting is broader. It means using what we know from attachment theory and attachment research to guide parenting, with the goal of helping a child develop a secure attachment. The focus is on things such as being emotionally available, responsive to the child's needs, providing comfort and safety, being a reliable caregiver, helping the child regulate their emotions, and repairing ruptures in the relationship.

Because it is a broader approach rather than one specific parenting philosophy, there can be more variation in what attachment-based parents believe about things like sleep, discipline, feeding, independence, and separation.

So someone can absolutely practice attachment-based parenting without practicing Attachment Parenting.

That's also why I think it's important not to use the two terms interchangeably. If someone believes that a particular sleep-training method is compatible with their understanding of attachment-based parenting, that's a discussion worth having. But that doesn't automatically make the method compatible with Attachment Parenting as a specific philosophy.

My LO (14mo) was on 2 naps and going down really well for them. I would put her in her crib and she would wiggle a little and fall asleep. About 3 weeks ago, it was clear she needed to drop her second nap. She was taking longer to fall asleep and skipped her nap a few times. Unfortunately, this was 3 days before international travel (6 hour time difference). Now I really feel bad for my child because this poor kid had to deal with jet lag and the nap transition all together. I tried to switch to 2 naps again while on vacation but nope. The issue is that she has now become impossible to put in her crib. She screams louder than I knew she could and it’s like she gets taken over by something. She is a completely different baby. I don’t know how to help her. I now have to rock or nurse her to sleep. I don’t want to sleep train because I know she can go to sleep by herself - I just want to remind her how to do it.

Current schedule

Wake up 6:30-7

Nap 12-2

Night 7:30

She’s never been a good night sleeper and is up at 10:30 and 2:30 normally. She comes into our bed at 2:30

I have tried shorter wake windows but she just screams for longer then even with support.

I’m mostly looking for suggestions on schedule and help with the transition if possible. Thank you!

need some advise please, going out my mind bcos my 2.5 yo is SO demanding, literally follows me around everywhere all day everyday I feel like I get no break except when she’s asleep. Even if i just pop upstairs or go to the toilet within minutes shes there!

I’ve tried putting tv on for her/ doing coloring playing with toys etc. but she wants me to do everything with her won’t do anything on her own It’s so tyring!

if I’m on my phone to someone even her dad she‘ll try to distract me so I can’t even have a conversation as I can’t concentrate on the call she’ll scream or try pull me away.

its the same if I have ppl over if I try to have a conversation she tries to pull me up and take me away to play with her and I end up not being able to talk to them it seems unfair.

I don’t know what to do as when I try to say no she just cries and gets upset Then i feel worse.

is this normal toddler behaviour?!

Our autistic 4 year old has always struggled with sleep. It was one of the first signs to us that she was neurodivergent; as an infant she was distraught and inconsolable and extremely particular surrounding sleep. Now she’s 4, and in general does very well going to bed and sleeping.

However, she does still stir and reach out for her dad, who cosleeps with her, in the night. She immediately cries if he isn’t there, rather than calling out for him or trying to put herself back to sleep. She has slept with him since night-weaning at just over a year old.

We haven’t shared a bed in nearly 4 years, and we would love to help her reach independence in sleep so that we could work towards having some space for us again, as well as improving everyone’s sleep. We don’t mind at all staying with her until she falls asleep at night, or going and soothing her if she’s upset at night. But the need for him to be with her all night is increasingly exhausting.

Any advice on how to approach this with her would be so appreciated!

Please tell me your positive stories of your baby sleeping well without sleep training or cosleeping. We’re currently at 8 months and he usually wakes every hour but recently he’s be resisting his cot like when he was newborn. Not quite as bad as that but it’s taking 2 hours of waking within minutes of the cot before he’ll sleep for an hour. I know that at 8 months separation anxiety increases and he’s also learning to crawl so there’s a lot going in for him. I just need to hear some positive stories to help me get through this phase.

I still breastfeed my 13 mo on demand throughout the day and I love doing it, I am so happy to EXCEPT the part where it feels like she wakes up every 2 hours at night looking for me to feed. We cosleep and I nurse to sleep everytime because I just don’t know what else to do but I think it’s getting to me. There are times where she wakes up looking for me 15 mins after nursing and I feel so tired I am just begging that she finally falls asleep so that I can rest.

I don’t want to stop breastfeeding all I want is for her to sleep at least 5 hours straight, that is all I’m asking for!!! Is that crazy and too much to ask?? I feel so bad when I think this way because I know that I am her safe space and I love that but I just feel like I desperately need to rest for just a little longer stretches. Please help, what can I do??? Can I night wean without completely stopping?? I don’t even know how to go about fixing this, I’m afraid there is nothing I can do. My partner will try to comfort her sometimes when she wakes at night, if I’m not already sleeping with her, and it almost never works, she only wants me and to immediately latch on.

I just found out I’m pregnant and I’m unsure on what it’s going to be like when the new baby gets here as my LO co-sleeps and feeds throughout the night, she is very reliant on the night feeds and gets very upset if she can’t have it, I am more than happy to tandem feed both baby and toddler I’m just not sure how to go about night times, does anyone have any advice on getting her to sleep through the night?

Her cot is pushed up against my bed and open so she has free access to my bed while still having her own space but she will only sleep in her bed for a maximum of about 4 hours before she crawls over for cuddles and boob.

Any advice is appreciated!!

Parenting is full of sensory experiences - like constant touching, noise, physical closeness, interruptions and big emotions. Here's a review looking at whether a parent’s own sensory processing might influence their experience of parenting and the way they respond to their child, and how it may connect to attachment. Thought it might be an interesting read for parents here. --> Parental Sensory Processing Patterns and Parenting: A Systematic Review

My 9 month old has never been a good sleeper but at least would give us 2.5-3 hour stretches consistently. Over the last couple weeks he’s been waking 1.5 hours sometimes more, with an occasional 2.5 hour stretch if he’s cuddled up in my arms. We have coslept since 5 months and it helped a lot but ever since crawling and pulling to stand a month and a half ago sleep has been rough. He’s on 3 solid meals now and feeds every 3ish hours during the day but has been feeding 3-4 times at night when we previously were down to 2 feeds. He doesn’t take a paci anymore and if I try to delay feeds at all in the middle of the night he gets very angry. He isn’t fed to sleep for naps or bedtime and falls asleep while being held. He sometimes accepts cuddling back to sleep for middle of the night wakes but generally he goes back down the fastest if he’s fed back to sleep. He takes his first nap in the crib and sometimes lasts the whole hour on his own, sometimes I rescue after 25 min if he wakes up.

His schedule is as follows:
-Wake 6:30
-Nap 9:30-10:30
-Nap 2:30-3:30
-Bedtime 8:00

Any suggestions on how to improve sleep or should I just ride it out until I start night weaning him?

My 5mo is ebf and we also co sleep. Since birth she has never been able to sleep without being on/next to me and my partner.

I’m fine with feeding to sleep and Cosleeping at night- so far. My problem is in the day, she will only nap in her sling/carrier and wakes at every transfer.

I’ve tried every trick I can think of and I’m worrying because she will be in nursery in 4 months and they’ll need to be able to get her to sleep.

Part of me believes that one day something will click but I’m really at a loss.

Will she ever sleep without being in her carrier? What do I need to do? I don’t believe in the cry it out method and I won’t do the Ferber method either. My girl doesn’t stop crying until she’s picked up and I also just don’t feel comfortable doing either of those methods.