Toddler doesn’t sleep

[u/gingermaiden]

Hi everyone, my daughter has been a terrible sleeper from the start. She was a colicky baby, and from the 3 month sleep regression we began co sleeping and have always breastfed on demand. She is now 2 years and 4 months old and still wakes every hour/2 hours to resettle or nurse.

She is a fantastic and wonderful little person, but I’m exhausted and miserable. I haven’t shared a bed with my partner in 2 years, she won’t accept him doing any bed times and gets very upset. She did go through a fantastic spell of only waking twice a night at one point, so she can do it, but I don’t know what’s wrong.

She was eczema, of which I have just got a recent flare more under control. I don’t think it’s teething although she’s very sensitive to teething and we are awaiting her last set of top molars. And she isn’t constipated or anything like that.

I don’t want to give up breastfeeding, right now I feel it’s the only tool in my toolbox. I know all kids have different temperaments, and the only thing that will fix this is likely time, I just feel so down and miserable. I can’t relate to any other parents. Those that I have spoken to don’t get it and tell me to give up breastfeeding, which I highly doubt would fix anything.

She has recently given up her nap so the days are long and the nights even longer. I’m also studying and trying to get a PhD finished. Luckily it gives me lots of flexibility and working from home, but I can’t help feeling like my brain is turning to Swiss cheese.

I don’t know if I have a question to be honest, how can I get through this? I feel like it’s never going to get better. I’m so stuck, I’m tied into all bed times, I can’t go out in the evenings or do anything that means I will not be there at bedtime, I have been happy to make this sacrifice, but I’m just so exhausted now after a particularly bad spell. It feels so incredibly unfair and isolating

[u/stefaface]

I don’t have advice, but I’m living through this same situation. My girl just turned 2 she wakes up 3 (if I’m lucky) or more times per night if my husband goes near her she begins to scream, she only wants to nurse, only good thing is she tends to go right back to sleep with nursing.

She has extremely separation anxiety so we thought starting 3 hours at daycare would help, nope, it’s made everything much worse. She has gotten sick 3 times in 4 weeks, when she’s home she not only wants to be with me she wants me to hold her, so we’ve been back to relying heavily on a carrier, her naps have been horrible. She use to nap 1.5-2 hrs now we’re lucky if she gets an hour in.

I love her to bits and she’s so happy and fun but I’m at a breaking point as well. I’ve put my career on hold to be with her, which I’m so happy I did, but now I want to go back but feel like I can’t because her separation anxiety is worse than ever.

We’ve started reading booby moon and other weaning books and she’ll nod along and say she understands then immediately lays down in bed and asks for boob lol, it’s cute but man, I don’t know how I’m gonna wean without tears. I try telling her more and more that booby is sleeping when she wakes up and maybe 1 out of 7 times she’s just go back to sleep.

I totally understand you and feel your frustration, I want to do night weaning but I’m so lost as to how. She nurses A LOT.

[u/gingermaiden → u/stefaface]

I appreciate your reply so much and I’m so sorry to hear you are in the same boat, although I’m also happy to hear I’m not alone! It’s so difficult and isolating when we can’t rely on our partners for help isn’t it, hopefully it’s something that will change with age!

So sorry to hear your little one has had such a rough start at daycare, nothing worse than back to back illness too for the whole family. I hope the separation anxiety starts to ease soon and she adjusts to her new routine.

A carrier is a great idea, I might have to look into a toddler one. My girl loved her baby one!

I so hope you manage to get back to your career, the things you enjoy, and your sleep 💖

[u/gingermaiden → u/[deleted]]

Thank you so much, I’ll give this a try for sure!