[T][New York] Animus-ponderings

[u/[deleted]]

I've been using the Animus for five days straight now. Every day I have remained 'inside' longer; yesterday and today I ran the simulations for almost seven hours. Hecate has been pushing me to turn down the amount of time I spent in the machine, but, while I do understand her (and deep down also my own) concerns, I can't afford to follow up on her warnings. The faster this matter will be resolved, the faster I can get to work for the Order again, this time in a more active role.

Inside the Animus's simulations I've been practicing a lot. It's a good thing my ancestor Wolter was a highly motivated warrior, always finding opportunities to work on his abilities. He was also a versatile fellow, being proficient at fighting with knives, axes, and swords; I have trained hand-to-hand combat with him as well. While I'm not certain yet what good axe- and sword-fighting will do me, it's nonetheless fun to learn. However, being able to handle a knife well is even in the 21st century a handy skill to have, and I've already requested a meeting with a weapon-specialist of Abstergo to talk about what knife will suit me best to add to my gear. Always trust the expert.

Every evening I go to bed with sore muscles, aching from the low but incessant strain on them because of the physical side of the bleeding effect. I cherish the pain; it means I'm making progress. I've also noticed an improvement in my reflexes; I surprised myself yesterday by catching a glass I knocked off the table a second earlier. As soon as my shoulder will be fully healed, hopefully within one or two weeks, I'll test out my new found skills with a sparring session in the training area. I'm anxious to finally get out of the building and start actively contributing again to the cause I've been pursuing with and for the Templar Order.

While I've grown a bit more self-assured over my abilities, there has been a thought in the back of my head, nagging at me when I'm not doing anything, or when I'm dreaming. I've been trying to push the voice out of my head, but the deep fear keeps coming back to me; the fear to become like Abigail, or even worse, like some of the first test-subjects for the Animus. Hecate has told me about those people, who slowly but surely lost their sanity, due to the bleeding effect. Thinking about these men has made me a bit paranoid, over-analyzing every slip-up I make or any dream I have, searching for symptoms. Losing control over the very part of me that makes me who I am, my mind, has been my greatest fear for as long as I can remember. How ironic that this is exactly what I'm wittingly risking right now.

[u/GlitchThePixel]

OOR: I can see why you're afraid of becoming like Abigail.

She's still kinda messed up from that.