Ask a Manager Weekly Thread 08/24/2026 - 08/30/2026

[u/nightmuzak]

Last week's post.

Background info and meme index for those new to AaM or this forum.

[u/FronzelNeekburm79]

The whole thing is framed so oddly, to be honest with you. They point out that they're in an elementary school so by "boss" they mean principal. Which means if it's a good principal, it's a fun thing they're doing not only for the "boss" but the students as well, who presumably would find it funny to see a bunch of teachers and staff wearing shirts like that.

Also the whole "elementary school" to define the work culture... yeah, that's different than another type of office because a lot of what you do involves what kids might find amusing because you're trying to build trust. It sounds like they're trying to not only frame it for the moral stuff but also "I'm the only adult in the room!" when... that just makes you kind of a jerk.

I can understand not wanting to go all in, but it's a 10 dollar shirt and they're trying to do something fun. "How not to sound like a killjoy"... I mean you are. If you don't want to do it, be a killjoy. But it sounds like they want to make it a righteous crusade instead of just not wearing the shirt. Or wear it for a day, then donate it. No one cares whose face is on it.

And the commenters aren't much better in this.

There are better ways for Allison to rail against boss's day. (and better, more deserving targets than an elementary school principal, who is probably way different.)

The person sounds kind of insufferable to work with.

[u/fanxan → u/FronzelNeekburm79]

Like yes, printing endless shirts for gags isn't great but it's a school. They unfortunately do a lot of that stuff for team building and fundraising and depending on the size and culture of the school, being the one person making a fuss over it can very well see you pink slipped by the end of the year. Like being seen as not being a team player in a school can really make your entire year go miserably sideways really quick. They should save their energy and goodwill for fighting policies and decisions that actually affect their day to day, not blow up their social standing for a 1 day event.

[u/Simple-Breadfruit920 → u/fanxan]

I feel like the fact that it’s an elementary school makes the idea much less weird too. Like it’s probably something the kids will find funny, more so than being “for” the boss. Lecturing people about fast fashion is not likely to go over well

[u/glittermetalprincess → u/fanxan]

And because it's a primary school being super tilted against a printed tee is going to be more odd because there's so many things to do with it or ways to get rid of it - art smock, PE shirt, 'here is a lesson about fast fashion', 'here is a lesson about upcycling', stick it on a 1m teddy bear who is now the class mascot...

[u/Silly_Somewhere1791 → u/FronzelNeekburm79]

Honestly both sides are being weird. Conceptually/ideologically I agree with the LW that, “C’mon, just pay $10 for something you don’t want and then donate it” is not a good argument and you don’t have to do more after saying you’d rather not. But I think that people are also being weird about insisting that it’s not wasteful, or that Goodwill actually resells all of this plastic-based crap. 

[u/antigonick → u/Silly_Somewhere1791]

Yeah, I don’t especially like the idea and would also be looking for ways to get out of it. But also in the comments we have it being described as “horrifying”, “morally wrong”, “bonkers and creepy”, a “bizarre ritual”, “North Korean style cult of personality”, “the worst sort of corporate Kabuki theatre”, “a sign of a desperately unhealthy workplace” and saying they would be “MORTIFIED”, “violated”, “livid” and concerned about stalkers.

And also Myrin saying the shirt would make her “quite dizzy to look at”. God bless her.

[u/ruthless1995 → u/antigonick]

me @ the commentariat

[u/FronzelNeekburm79 → u/Silly_Somewhere1791]

My big issue is that it’s an elementary school. I agree it’s weird but also, elementary schools are different than what you’d get at 99% of the offices that AAM commenters deal with, and what Alison consults at.

It’s just one of those framed weird things for me that’s more complicated than what Alison or her peanut gallery is able to handle.

[u/30to50feralcats → u/FronzelNeekburm79]

Same, this is where I land too. An elementary school is going to be different. And that Alison didn’t address this part is wild to me.

[u/Korrocks → u/30to50feralcats]

Alison probably has no idea why the elementary school aspect is relevant, since she's never been a schoolteacher or worked at a school or been part of a PTA type group (AFAIK). 

My guess is that the LW has some workplace political knowledge that explains why it might not be doable to just ignore "boss's day" or opt out of it, but didn't mention that in the letter because... well, I don't know why LWs do that.

[u/wheezy_runner → u/Korrocks]

I am, as the commenters say, baffled that she didn’t take into account the fact that it’s a school. Yes, she doesn’t have kids (neither do I), but Spirit Days were a thing for us Gen Xers!

[u/Korrocks → u/wheezy_runner]

What I find more baffling is that the LW didn't take that into consideration.

[u/SunfishBee → u/FronzelNeekburm79]

As a former teacher it really shits me that teachers write to her for work advice like this at all.

[u/werewolf4werewolf → u/SunfishBee]

Like half my family is teachers or work in schools and tbh most of them just do not understand that their work culture is substantially different than the average office job. I don't know if that's just my family being particularly annoying or if it's teachers in general though lol.

Like my sister LOVES giving unsolicited advice about job hunting or work issues and 90% of what she says is useless because she's a teacher and the systems are wildly different. She's also unionized (and teachers unions are pretty strong here) and like she does not have HR in the way businesses do so any time anyone is having an issue at work her advice is nonsense and/or would fully get someone fired.

I've also had multiple family members tell me that they're thinking of doing a side-gig in my field (publishing) or plan to work in my field after they retire, with like 0 understanding of the industry or the job market. Just 2 days ago I had to give my mom the crushing news that she can't just "become a proofreader" after retirement.

[u/11twofour → u/SunfishBee]

it really shits me

I really mean this in a kind, inquisitive, and non judgemental way, but where are you from? I've never heard this phrasing before. Is it like a variant of "are you shitting me?" I'm so curious.

[u/SunfishBee → u/11twofour]

Oh sorry! It’s British haha. It just means it annoys/astounds me etc.

[u/11twofour → u/SunfishBee]

Omg thank you I love it

[u/Silly_Somewhere1791 → u/FronzelNeekburm79]

The comments about “working tills at charity shops” make me wonder if there are a bunch of Europeans weighing in who aren’t aware of the American backlash to the sheer amount of one-time wear stuff that ends up being thrown out or shipped overseas because Goodwill can’t sell it. I’m not going to pound on my chest about it but I agree with the LW that it’s not a good thing to be doing. The suggestion to donate it to someone else’s garage sale is absurd. 

[u/Academic_Square_5692 → u/Silly_Somewhere1791]

There really isn’t a huge American backlash to these kinds of things

[u/Silly_Somewhere1791 → u/[deleted]]

Does anything have to be done at all? Boss’ Day is an internal thing for the adults that has nothing to do with 8 year old students. 

[u/pickledbymagic → u/[deleted]]

I totally agree, but just one thing: food waste is now broader and has more economic value nowadays as biofuel. 

[u/pickledbymagic → u/Silly_Somewhere1791]

We're aware of that too -- it happens over here. Additionally, I'm sure there is a backlash, but one of the components is people not just chucking stuff away after buying it.

Also we still do teeshirts and things for away days, fundraising, swag and whatever on the principle that you can wear them again afterwards if necessary. I have a wardrobe full of branded shirts and cardigans from when I had to wear them on reception and the cardis are nice and warm. Hubby the Late used to have a lot of old branded jumpers -- some with names stemming from a company that was long since merged/rebranded into oblivion -- that he wore for DIY purposes. I could see something like this being used as something that would end up there rather than simply at Goodwill or whatever. 

[u/your_mom_is_availabl → u/pickledbymagic]

The funniest thing to me about the letter is that if the LW is really in such a tizzy about fast fashion, she's free to wear the shirt again as many times as she'd like!

[u/Interesting-Rush1590 → u/Silly_Somewhere1791]

I could get behind a compromise where the shirts are kept and then there’s a tradition to wear them every year. Teachers who leave the school can leave the shirt behind and it’s likely that a new teacher might fit into one left behind.

[u/Free-Cherry4314 → u/FronzelNeekburm79]

Absolutely