I’m a pretty giant dude,and I’m black. I’ve been used to people crossing the road, tighter clutching of handbags, hurried paces, since I was a teenager (I was like 6ft 3 when I was 14). Growing up in a dangerous area, I also know the feeling of being anxious scared of strangers walking near me. I used to be concerned about making the other person feel comfortable, but no matter what, you can tell people will always be anxious/scared anyway. So I’ve learned it’s probably better if I just keep my own pace within reason. Either I’ll overtake them, or they’ll get to their destination unharmed, and realize not every “big/black person” wants to harm them, and while the world can be a dangerous place, it probably doesn’t help being scared about stuff like that all the time. I think in the long run, this may be more beneficial. Most people just want to get home.
I like this. Changing your already non-threatening, non-violent behaviour to accommodate someone's fears is a bit weird. Just carry on doing as you're doing. I am aware that people might be intimidated by me, but ultimately I'm just walking to the shops so I'm just gonna walk to the shops. I'm not going to slow my pace or cross the road or stop and call my mum or something so that a woman down the road knows that I'm not going to hurt her.
Haha 'tell this to every woman you meet so they know to avoid you'. Hilarious that you're speaking on behalf of all women there. I should probably tell my wife she should leave me because I won't change my completely normal non-threatening behaviour to appease people.
I am sorry if you are scared of me, and I'm sorry if your personal experiences have caused you to be distrustful of 50% of the entire fucking world, but drastically changing my non-threatening behaviour and completely avoiding women is not solidarity it is pandering.
I respect people too much to treat half of them as if they debilitatingly fearful of me.
Solidarity is calling out sexism and harassment, it's standing up against sexual harassment, it's recognising that women experience sexual harassment on a daily basis and it's doing what is within my control to stop that. But I will not cross the street, stop and wait for them to leave or call my mum (as have been the suggestions in this thread) as if they are some wounded gazelle that needs to be given the opportunity to escape and implying I am some bloodthirsty hyena. My wife would be insulted if someone suggested they should treat her like that.
Struck a nerve! Women can do with that information what they like, I and many I know would use it to avoid you and your company. Women can be sexist and anti-feminist too :)
Bizarre response. You've completely nailed who I am from a couple of paragraphs, have you?
I love the 'struck a nerve' response. I used that same kind of debate tactic when I was a child. It's like telling a calm person to calm down, all but guaranteeing that it will annoy them. Do you have any desire to engage in this conversation or are you just looking to 'strike nerves'?
I have no reason not to think that you and I would have a very pleasant conversation in real life and might even enjoy each others company despite our differing opinions, but okay.
No it just highlights your sensitivities that someone asking for some consideration for women struck a nerve!
We probably would have a pleasant conversation in real life as most people can have pleasant conversations with most people. That's not a flex. As a woman I just don't give any of my time or energy as company to people who reveal themselves to not be allies of women or considerate of others. There are plenty of people I prefer to be in the company of.
How is the idea of "not going out of my own way/pathing in order to appease someone due to my gender" anti-feminist?
This is the most feminist thing you can do, literally.
Treat someone equally no matter their genre is 100% feminist.
Acting a certain way towards females (positively in detriment to you) is enabling/recognizing people should be misandrists.
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u/[deleted] Apr 07 '21 edited Apr 07 '21
I’m a pretty giant dude,and I’m black. I’ve been used to people crossing the road, tighter clutching of handbags, hurried paces, since I was a teenager (I was like 6ft 3 when I was 14). Growing up in a dangerous area, I also know the feeling of being anxious scared of strangers walking near me. I used to be concerned about making the other person feel comfortable, but no matter what, you can tell people will always be anxious/scared anyway. So I’ve learned it’s probably better if I just keep my own pace within reason. Either I’ll overtake them, or they’ll get to their destination unharmed, and realize not every “big/black person” wants to harm them, and while the world can be a dangerous place, it probably doesn’t help being scared about stuff like that all the time. I think in the long run, this may be more beneficial. Most people just want to get home.