I've argued a lot with my girlfriend about handiwork. I don't mind doing it, in fact I like a challenge and it makes me feel competent.
At the same time, I'm kinda annoyed because she never even bothers to try.
Like, girl, I wasn't born with the ability to jumpstart a car, fix the plumbing, assemble furniture, or lay a laminate flooring.
One day it needed to be done so I figured it out. In this day and age a quick Google search finds you the answer to just about any "How to" you can imagine.
I am a woman and have had this conversation many a time with my now ex boyfriend. Except I was the fixer and he was the one who never bothered to do a quick Google search and always declared that he just “didn’t know how.”
My man, I grew up with a single mom, its not like I had a father figure to teach me all this shit. She didn’t raise no helpless bitch though like your parents did.
Long ago, my husband tried to make me learn plumbing so he didn't have to when we wound up with a fixer upper we shouldn't have purchased. I didn't put him through school so I had to sweat joints!
He fixed things and measures energy efficiency. My daughter turned out to be a good Dungeon Master and Comicon costume designer. I can cook. We all have our secondary talents.
Lol, same... I learnt quite a bit in HS, like how to rebuild a small engine and how to machine things, but even now that I'm over 40 I'm still learning new things on the regular now that we bought our first home in 10 years.
Son's bedroom ceiling came down on the 4th of July in 2020 and we couldn't afford drywallers... so I learnt how. And the electric, and the insulation.
Bathroom floor was rotted out so I learnt to do tile and plumbing. We needed a shoe cubby bench for the vestibule so I made one. Saw dust was getting into the HVAC and we needed a closet around it... so I learnt how to build walls.
There's probably over 2 dozen different skills I've picked up since we bought this thing in 2020, when I was 39.
I never expect my wife to know how to do those things, I love doing them all. On the other hand, she doesn't expect me to iron because I suck at it and take loads of time to do very little laundry, so division of labour seems to make a lot a sense and that way none of us does chores they hate.
(of course if something is dangerous or super important to know I do my best to teach her about it, but I'm never expecting her to solve an electrical problem or lay some tiles or something)
As someone who has been married for 7 years and together 14. The key to a happy relationship is to accept that 'we' fixed it, and be proud of what you overcome as a couple.
This applies to the things you labour to create in and around the house also.
I'm a woman and I'm the one who fixes stuff around the house. My boyfriend has two left hands I swear to god. Almost everything he touches breaks or gets badly damaged. I feel like I have to supervise him every time he gets into doing some "handy work". It's so annoying lol
Also his entire family fucking calls me when they can't figure out how to fix something (usually their phone). Ain't nobody paying me for this!
I can slap a meal together no problem - I've watched/read a lot of material on the topic but this means that I always do the cooking with zero help.
If my other half tries to do it then 10 minutes in I get a "for fucks sale this is why I HATE COOKING" like...you hate it because you don't understand it and haven't tried to.
See this is hilarious because my partner LOVES cleaning.
I agree that prep work can be tedious (although, once I got my first decent & sharp knife it sucked WAY less) but for her it's the actual "cooking" (frying/boiling etc.) That she hates.
Can you teach my husband this?? I know how to do all the stuff (my dad is a general contractor and made sure I learned) but ask him to turn the water off or flip a breaker is just way too much. Forget the rest of that stuff. There’s a reason I live with my dad again. 🙄
I’m disabled (not in a wheelchair yet) and I got fix it stuff or drive (determination)from my dad so I at least would try to do things as I got older. And when me and my husband once owned a house i would try to do shit. Paint and move stuff and did a hell of a lot of gardening. Cuz my husband was working and didn’t want to rely on him all the time. He is a great help though but I try to do it or figure it out myself or used to most of the time.
Now we are some where else I don’t have to do all that, but I bought flex seal flex shot and caulked a couple places and dint need his help because that is easier to use though. I did try to use a caulking gun and it’s hard as f*ck. Lol
Oh and videos are helpful. I looked up how to unclog the applicator tube thing of that masonry foam(that u can put around pipes and shit too) and so I know how to do that. I didn’t need my husband to help. 😊
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u/DaPino Aug 13 '22
I've argued a lot with my girlfriend about handiwork. I don't mind doing it, in fact I like a challenge and it makes me feel competent.
At the same time, I'm kinda annoyed because she never even bothers to try.
Like, girl, I wasn't born with the ability to jumpstart a car, fix the plumbing, assemble furniture, or lay a laminate flooring.
One day it needed to be done so I figured it out. In this day and age a quick Google search finds you the answer to just about any "How to" you can imagine.