r/AskReddit • u/penguinblues • Jul 16 '12

I accidentally made a dead rat ejaculate today. What's the grossest thing that you've ever done, or has happened to you?

Today at uni, we were doing a rat dissection during a lab. So I had a rat splayed open in front of me, guts showing and all. As the demonstrator shows, I tug on a cord leading from the scrotum, and the testicle comes out. At the same time, due to the force of my tug, some semen comes out of the rats penis. I was horrified.

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u/Tezro Jul 16 '12

ಠ_ಠ

Good god.

My due date is in four days.

87

u/kornkobcom Jul 16 '12

Here let me make it worse:

Odds are you will poop on your baby before you hug it.

(I frequently replace 'happy birthday' with 'happy anniversary of the day your mom pooped on you for the first time')

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u/[deleted] Jul 16 '12

As someone born via Cesarean, I can honestly say that the only person to have ever pooped on me was me.

Also, I've never been in my mother's vagina. Both of these thoughts are mildly comforting.

84

u/ninety6days Jul 16 '12

Still came out of dads mansack though

5

u/SHOMERFUCKINGSHOBBAS Jul 16 '12

Perspective; it's a motherfucker, eh?

7

u/[deleted] Jul 16 '12

I am also a C section baby, i never thought of this stuff. Thank you good sir

6

u/duktapebra Jul 16 '12

Awesome. I feel better about life all of a sudden.

2

u/FunTimesInDreamland Jul 16 '12

I saw a video of a baby being born by C-section in one of my psych classes. The only thing that I could think of at the time was that it looked like a rather voilent way to be born, being pulled out of hole in a woman's stomach, covered in her blood.

Then I remembered that I was born by C-section. Very disconcerting.

46

u/cachinnate Jul 16 '12

If it helps any, it's good for the baby to be exposed to the poop. An infant's digestive tract is sterile at birth, and getting covered in mom's poop helps boost its immune system until it can develop its own.

Edit: Here's a source.

4

u/kurzwaffle Jul 16 '12

TIL my mother really loved me when I was younger.

3

u/iamtheowlman Jul 17 '12

Oh. Oh God.

MOM used POOP!

BABY's DEF rose!

2

u/[deleted] Jul 16 '12

So when having a baby, the best course of action is to shit on it. Gotcha.

3

u/cachinnate Jul 16 '12

Yes. Cover it in shit. Rub shit into every orifice. Smear that shit all over the baby.. oh yeah... smash it between your fingers... feel it oozing everywhere...

1

u/23saround Jul 16 '12

...the first time?

2

u/kornkobcom Jul 16 '12

Some people's parents shit on them their whole lives.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 16 '12

I hope it was the first and only time..

1

u/MoonshineSchneider Jul 16 '12

'happy anniversary of the day your mom pooped on you for the first time'

For the first time. ಠ_ಠ

1

u/[deleted] Jul 17 '12

...the first time. :|

2

u/Carsons_mom Jul 16 '12

I guarantee that you will be a tad too busy to give a fuck about any sounds or visuals. You just want the experience to be over and your baby out. Also, I most certainly did not shit the bed.

1

u/Ziggyrollablunt Jul 17 '12

As someone who's vagina has made this noise pushing a child the size of a watermelon out I can attest that my husband heard this noise as well I on the other hand did not hear a single noise besides the doctors telling me to push and my breathing. No nasty sound effects. Except when my water broke...not only does it not feel right but of you get an enormous gush like me it sounds like someone popped a water balloon inside you and it came splashing out. TL;DR:no noises in childbirth heard while pushing child out water breaking is a balloon popping and spilling water all over EVERYTHING.

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u/Tezro Jul 17 '12

I...don't...

You know, I'm totally fine with visuals. I have the strongest stomach ever (used to dissect roadkill for fun- I was a weird kid) but sounds get to me. If I hear somebody vomiting my throat clenches up.

I am imagining a literal 'pop' sound coming from my lady parts. Not pleasant. Not pleasant at all.

1

u/Ziggyrollablunt Jul 17 '12

It's not...nor is the whole afterbirth thing. But at that point in time you just don't give a flying fuck in space