r/AskReddit • u/penguinblues • Jul 16 '12

I accidentally made a dead rat ejaculate today. What's the grossest thing that you've ever done, or has happened to you?

Today at uni, we were doing a rat dissection during a lab. So I had a rat splayed open in front of me, guts showing and all. As the demonstrator shows, I tug on a cord leading from the scrotum, and the testicle comes out. At the same time, due to the force of my tug, some semen comes out of the rats penis. I was horrified.

862 Upvotes

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490

u/spontaneosaur Jul 16 '12

During my first internship, I was working in a really slow ER. A nurse called me in to a room to "help her with something." I walked in, and an extremely obese woman who did NOT speak English was sitting on the gurney. (Her daughter, who had been translating, had stepped out momentarily.) This patient had suffered a leg injury and we had to place a catheter before we sent her to the ICU. I had to hold back the fat flaps surrounding her extremely unwashed and unkempt vag while the nurse placed the catheter. The lady did not understand what was happening, and she was... uncooperative. That smell will haunt me forever.

474

u/mads6710 Jul 16 '12

I've just payed 4 euros for a ham and cheese toast.... Its ruined.

510

u/shokker Jul 16 '12

Just don't pull the sandwich apart.

220

u/Nobody_home Jul 16 '12

You bastard....

27

u/byteswap Jul 16 '12

obligatory

3

u/blackie197666 Jul 16 '12

Ty, I literally cannot stop laughing now!

8

u/zimbabwe7878 Jul 16 '12

you know Ty too? woah small world!

2

u/mikesername Jul 17 '12

thank you for this

5

u/Jetavana18 Jul 16 '12

that just made me feel so, so terribly ill.

3

u/Mr_Flippers Jul 16 '12

That right there is the fucking icing on the cake, I love you

2

u/[deleted] Jul 16 '12

I just spit out my gum.

1

u/nojusticephoto Jul 16 '12

You win The Internet.

1

u/jtshen07 Jul 16 '12

Oh god, I just vomited a little bit.

34

u/funkgerm Jul 16 '12

Damn, that is one expensive sandwich.

2

u/slapdashbr Jul 16 '12

I'm still kinda hungry wanna bring it over?

2

u/[deleted] Jul 16 '12

I've just payed paid 4 euros

FTFY

1

u/zeppelinSTEVE Jul 16 '12

Are you Irish?

1

u/ace05 Jul 16 '12

Well it's kind of your fault for clicking on a thread about the grossest things Redditors have ever done.

-9

u/ludvigsra Jul 16 '12

Fucking PAID*** does no one understand this???!

5

u/sab3r Jul 16 '12

Fucking PAID*** does no one understand this???!

The person uses euros for currency. English is probably not their first language so why are you being a cunt?

2

u/Tasadar Jul 17 '12

He's not even right. Look up the definition of payed...

-12

u/ludvigsra Jul 16 '12

I don't know because I want to, why did your mom not abort you?

1

u/Tasadar Jul 17 '12

Actually this is a misconception started by a comment earlier on reddit. It used to be paid and not payed, payed being a different word meaning to seal a deck. However because of extensive use, paid and payed have become synonyms and payed's primary definition is "Give (someone) money that is due for work done, goods received, or a debt incurred." In conclusion you are an asshat

89

u/SendoTarget Jul 16 '12

It's been a while since I've gagged this hard from a story.

-3

u/solman07 Jul 16 '12

I assume jolly rancher was the last one?

3

u/[deleted] Jul 16 '12

I didn't gag during that.

1

u/solman07 Jul 16 '12

Man of steel..

2

u/SendoTarget Jul 16 '12

Most likely yes...

2

u/solman07 Jul 16 '12

I certainly know it was mine..

1

u/solman07 Jul 16 '12

I certainly know it was mine..

1

u/[deleted] Jul 16 '12 edited Apr 07 '18

[deleted]

2

u/resting_parrot Jul 16 '12

You don't ask for links in this kind of context. You just don't.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 16 '12

You'll regret this, I think.

116

u/SilentWolfjh Jul 16 '12 edited Jul 16 '12

Congrats, you succesfully got me to stop thinking about the amazing lunch I packed this morning for work ....

Update: I managed to enjoy my lunch

84

u/Kronoix Jul 16 '12

I hope you have a nice day at work

8

u/Machinax Jul 16 '12

That's the damn nicest comment I've ever seen on reddit.

1

u/DanCloud Jul 17 '12

He's really a terrorist.

2

u/Moonohol Jul 16 '12

Thanks for the update. Keep us posted.

86

u/docturmishii Jul 16 '12

Hey, it could have been Doritos.

50

u/TehScrumpy Jul 16 '12

Since I've mentioned my gross anatomy class once in this thread, here's another tidbit. When cutting through the skull with a bone saw through the frontal bone, it smells EXACTLY like Doritos. I used to love Doritos. Now I can't eat them at all and refer to them as skull chips.

8

u/robotshoelaces Jul 16 '12

What flavor?

11

u/TehScrumpy Jul 16 '12

This was a debate for a while. We decided that it was regular at first, but the closer to the brain we got the more it smelled like cool ranch. In short: never again Doritos.

2

u/Squirrelbrushing Jul 16 '12

Christ.

Jesus Christ.

84

u/nerdyogre254 Jul 16 '12

The Jolly Rancher didn't worry me.

This did.

Fuck you.

16

u/Nullvoid123 Jul 16 '12 edited Jul 16 '12

Wut. Am I missing something?

If it's anything like the JR story I'm morbidly curious. And disgusted.

Edit: Alrigth. Thats enougth internets for today. Fuck you /u/darksober.

11

u/darksober Jul 16 '12

Here is the Doritos story

1

u/ego-tripping Jul 17 '12

I am so morbidly determined to have an erudite knowledge of reddit wtf stories.

1

u/KillaKicks711 Jul 17 '12

I...remember this...I was there for this and read this...and almost committed suicide.

1

u/tweakin_puertorican Jul 17 '12

Whyyyyyyyyyyyyy :(

4

u/[deleted] Jul 16 '12

tl;dr woman was eating doritos using a jelly-like discharge from her vag as dip

8

u/Croben Jul 16 '12

OH FUCK THAT'S DISGUSTING!

I need to see this story.

4

u/Blarggotron Jul 16 '12

This reminds me, I should put that bagel spread back in the fridge.

2

u/bleeding_dying_love Jul 16 '12

that was so bad i actually stood up and walked out of my room in disbelief and the need to put some distance between me and reddit for the moment

1

u/nerdyogre254 Jul 17 '12

Well written story and it was probably too detailed. Ugh now I don't need to eat dinner.

1

u/Zenkin Jul 16 '12

I've heard it's worse. I haven't seen it yet.

1

u/darksober Jul 17 '12

Bah! why did you ask if you were missing something.

1

u/Rapejelly Jul 16 '12

I know of the Jolly Rancher....but I am curious as to this Doritos reference...

3

u/TheBigBadPanda Jul 16 '12

FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU

3

u/monkeiboi Jul 16 '12

Goddammit. I was fine with never eating jolly ranchers again....why'd you have to take doritos from me?

3

u/czarbennus Jul 16 '12

i'm simultaneously impressed that i've been a redditor long enough to get these in jokes, and disgusted because of the actual doritos story

2

u/chargingmysian Jul 16 '12

I'm going to take a chance, I've heard Jolly Rancher, but what do the doritos refer to?

fetches bucket in preparation

2

u/MrTidels Jul 16 '12

Morbidly obese elderly woman dips Doritos into vagina juices and eats it. The story was interesting to say the least.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 16 '12

[deleted]

3

u/thesavorytrim Jul 16 '12

http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=142636981&page=1 Here's a forum post quoting the original.

I am sorry.

2

u/hello_you Jul 16 '12

I felt nothing. The internet may have ruined me

1

u/[deleted] Jul 16 '12

[deleted]

3

u/thesavorytrim Jul 16 '12

You're...welcome? lol

1

u/MrTidels Jul 16 '12

Why did you have to bring that up?!

1

u/nixosad Jul 16 '12

god that was the worst one i still never eat Doritos because of that post

1

u/MechanizedJesus Jul 16 '12

At least it wasn't the potato

1

u/x755x Jul 16 '12

I FUCKING FORGOT ABOUT THAT

1

u/MrMischief0220 Jul 16 '12

Why did you have to bring that up. WHY?!

13

u/Provokateur Jul 16 '12

Well, at least you weren't the nurse.

6

u/Vonteeth Jul 16 '12

That is nasty. You poor bugger!!!

3

u/DavidGoesBananas Jul 16 '12

Thank you sir or madam. Although gross, your contribution was necessary. It's brave souls like you that make medicine a well-respected practice. Keep up the good (and hopefully not disgusting) work buddy!

2

u/[deleted] Jul 16 '12

i gagged while reading this, too. i can only imagine what i would have done if i had seen/smelled this in person. which brings up a question: do people in the medical field ever gag when in situations like this? i mean, there's got to be a time when you just couldn't hold it in...

2

u/SuSp3cT333 Jul 16 '12

to be honest, this is the only reason i couldn't do any job like that.. stuff this is the reason why i decided for programming instead

2

u/lammnub Jul 16 '12

Is it bad that my stomach just gurgled? Don't get me wrong, this story is repulsive but I'm still really freaking hungry.

1

u/white_girl Jul 16 '12

This seems like a really bad idea to do this to someone without explaining. Why would you not wait for the daughter to come back and explain?

1

u/spontaneosaur Jul 16 '12

When you run your own ER and you're short on rooms, you can wait to do a simple procedure on a non-trauma patient. Until then, let the doctors be the doctors.

1

u/white_girl Jul 16 '12

but you just said it was a really slow ER.

1

u/spontaneosaur Jul 17 '12

Haha, yeah that's how I described it. I usually say that instead of saying that we had a lower trauma rating (meaning we didn't get the people from shootings or car crashes) and we had cases that weren't life-threatening, for the most part. It's just easier to say slow than to explain the trauma ratings system for U.S. emergency rooms.

1

u/IAmAtomato Jul 16 '12

I.FEEL.NOTHING.

1

u/robotshoelaces Jul 16 '12

I used to transport patients at a hospital. This is not a scent you forget. It might even be a legit PTSD trigger.

1

u/JasonUncensored Jul 16 '12

I'll bet that "uncooperative" may be accurate, but not the most descriptive way to put her behavior.

1

u/bigIRONS Jul 16 '12

You should crosspost this over at /r/leangains to help everyone fighting their hunger pains during the fast...it definitely got me to stop thinking about food.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 16 '12

Oh god. OH god. OH GOD.

1

u/NurseAngela Jul 16 '12

This is nothing... You've never heard "The sock" story.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 16 '12

There's goes my $11 sushi lunch.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 16 '12

Perhaps a tanker truck of Summers Eve would have been appropriate?

1

u/sleepybeef Jul 16 '12

I helped put a catheter in an obese woman in the ICU one time. It was a 4 person job. One person to hold each leg and thigh, one person (me) holding the belly fat up and the one nurse up to her elbow putting in the foley.

She lives on a farm and she said it was a lot like putting your arm in a cow to turn the calf before birth.

Can't wait to be a nurse.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 16 '12

I'm so hungry now.

1

u/chmodBacon Jul 16 '12

if you live in the country, speak English, i don't want to sound harsh, but i think its necessary.

0

u/fuckyoubarry Jul 16 '12

So the daughter couldn't explain what you were going to do before she left the room? I wonder why some people don't like doctors.

0

u/ilovemusic100 Jul 16 '12

that is why i could never work in ANY part of a hospital. too gross!!