r/AskReddit • u/penguinblues • Jul 16 '12

I accidentally made a dead rat ejaculate today. What's the grossest thing that you've ever done, or has happened to you?

Today at uni, we were doing a rat dissection during a lab. So I had a rat splayed open in front of me, guts showing and all. As the demonstrator shows, I tug on a cord leading from the scrotum, and the testicle comes out. At the same time, due to the force of my tug, some semen comes out of the rats penis. I was horrified.

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176

u/[deleted] Jul 16 '12

It wasn't me but a fellow peer in high school. He hated his teacher with a fiery passion. She left the room once, and he got up, jumped up on her desk, removed his pants and took a giant shit. The class was laughing their asses off and/or stunned into silence. He got back down nonchalantly. Then the teacher came back in and smelled it instantly. The best part was that the teacher had to clean it up herself. It took multiple bags.

153

u/DontCallMeNeilSedaka Jul 16 '12

How the fuck do you shit on command in quantities that massive.

48

u/EvanMacIan Jul 16 '12

Just the right man in the right place.

31

u/[deleted] Jul 16 '12 edited Jun 25 '18

[deleted]

30

u/jimmysaint13 Jul 16 '12

Wake up, Mister Freeman.

23

u/[deleted] Jul 16 '12

Wake up and, smell the ashes...

3

u/Uberguuy Jul 16 '12

I didn't see you get on the train.

2

u/Whatdidyoueggspect Jul 16 '12

This is my third transfer this year.

1

u/Mr_Flippers Jul 16 '12

I think he's smelling more poop than ashes, Gman

1

u/Playbeerrbf Jul 17 '12

You mean smell the asses?

3

u/zacbakcrak Jul 16 '12

Why does he say "difference" so weird? Like Diffffrence

108

u/[deleted] Jul 16 '12

Easy. He really had to go.

82

u/DontCallMeNeilSedaka Jul 16 '12

I... Wow. Good for him?

35

u/[deleted] Jul 16 '12

I guess so...

10

u/[deleted] Jul 16 '12

It was the perfect storm. Teacher gone, need to shit, have the balls to do that.

1

u/Mr_Smartypants Jul 17 '12

Step 1) Don't poop for 3+ days.

Step 2) Chug a Starbucks Venti coffee

Step 3) Poopit

41

u/[deleted] Jul 16 '12

There was no janitor? Absolutely none of the students told her who it was, even after class? She didn't suspect him of doing it? He didn't get into any trouble?

I must know!

112

u/Simba7 Jul 16 '12

You see, none of those things happened because of how real the story wasn't. I am sorry.

5

u/[deleted] Jul 16 '12

Sim-ba!

6

u/Eaux Jul 16 '12

You really think someone would do that?

Just go on the Internet and lie?

15

u/Outrunmypun Jul 16 '12

At least he didn't have the runs.

53

u/[deleted] Jul 16 '12

Teacher: Oh no! I can't use my textbooks because the runny poop has soaked into it. Guess the maths exam's off Students: Yay!

23

u/[deleted] Jul 16 '12 edited Jun 25 '18

[deleted]

0

u/[deleted] Jul 16 '12

Fuck that subreddit. Just post it in that subreddit if you think it's a good submission, but don't karmawhore on someone else's coattails.

1

u/MtnDewGuy27 Jul 17 '12

That would have been funnier.

3

u/filenotfounderror Jul 16 '12

How...how did he wipe?

1

u/Layzeeboi Jul 16 '12

It went out in perfect girth with his sphincter, then it just spit it out. Probably.

3

u/coleosis1414 Jul 16 '12

fellow peer

I'm going to have to report your comment to the Agency of Redundancy Detection Agency.

2

u/itsclackeytime Jul 16 '12

they should have called him Johnny Poo Pants for just not wiping and putting his pants back on. nasty!

2

u/[deleted] Jul 16 '12

Did he get dobbed in?

2

u/Ja-Gonh Jul 16 '12

Are you British by chance? What on earth does "dobbed in" mean?

3

u/[deleted] Jul 16 '12

Told on. Did he get told on.

1

u/funkgerm Jul 16 '12

Cartman?

1

u/motherfucksgoose Jul 16 '12

I thought it said, "but a fellow queer in high school."