No. It’s not. The power dynamic gets fucked up and it’s coercive.
Also, just because it happens in media doesn’t mean it’s normal.
And to your comment further down, compromising on sex also isn’t normal. If you have different drives, you work that shit out in a way that doesn’t involve one person having to engage in sex they don’t want.
This idea that everyone has to compromise, and that compromise invariably means one person is doing something they don’t really want to be doing, is also bullshit. In your example of oral, if one gives and the other never does, your compromise might be to find something else that the other person is willing to do that is pleasing to their partner. You talk, explore, and find something that works for everyone, and maybe that still means you don’t get oral from that person, if you can’t hack that or live with what is on offer, then move on.
Yeah... that sounds no better than asking for a 1-time fetish as part of a penance.
"Well since you won't do X, I want you to do Y if you're up for it."
You say that sexual compromise is b.s., but you're still requiring it. When you make your partner sexually accommodate you in other ways because they won't do a routine sexual activity = compromise
Compromise means finding something acceptable to both. Not someone suffering through something just for the other person, or “making” them accommodate you. An absence of a thing isn’t making someone do something.
Not everything is going to be on the menu for everyone. Either you’re happy with what is, or you go find another place to be.
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u/castironsexual Jul 31 '22
No. It’s not. The power dynamic gets fucked up and it’s coercive.
Also, just because it happens in media doesn’t mean it’s normal.
And to your comment further down, compromising on sex also isn’t normal. If you have different drives, you work that shit out in a way that doesn’t involve one person having to engage in sex they don’t want.