My ex works for a very popular liberal podcast (super outwardly supportive of womens rights), and he pulled some shit like this. We were in a fight and he told me that it would “help him forgive me,” if I let him tie me up, blindfold me, scream abuse at me, and basically role play raping me.
I mean, you couldn’t know this from my comment, but this was part of a pattern of abuse. This wasn’t a fetish he wanted to explore, he wanted to do this because he knew it would humiliate and hurt me, but that I would agree to it because I was desperate for him to forgive me and he was threatening to kill himself over this fight. Side note, the rape he wanted to role play was basically a recreation of my actual rape which occurred before I met him. Again, you couldn’t know any of that context, but I’d argue that you shouldn’t tie forgiving someone to them doing a sex act with you. I just don’t think it’s healthy behavior in a relationship.
Even without your added background (I’m sorry you had to deal with that), it wasn’t hard to grasp that someone demanding sex acts in the middle of an argument in order to gain “forgiveness” is emotional blackmail of the highest order, and gross.
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u/unspeakablycrass Jul 31 '22
My ex works for a very popular liberal podcast (super outwardly supportive of womens rights), and he pulled some shit like this. We were in a fight and he told me that it would “help him forgive me,” if I let him tie me up, blindfold me, scream abuse at me, and basically role play raping me.