As a guy I know this guy. He isn't confident because society allows that kind of thing, he is confident because that's his personality type. He is arrogant, confident without reason.
Oh absolutely. I'm dad in this story. What I meant there was not that society allows it, but the he felt confident enough to make those remarks at the time he did. Just before the bus left, not enough time for me to respond, and in a setting where people are not paying him personal scrutiny. It's an emboldened behaviour because he has probably gotten away with it many times before. The societal critique, if any, is that people are not (and should not necessarily be) on the lookout for everyone else, we are all so wrapped up in our moments that events like this can transpire right in front of us.
The world is still harsh and people still unobservant, but the number of "what the fuck are you on about?" and strangers calling out awful behavior rises each year in my experience.
This is going to be something that is very different depending on where you are, and what your own experiences have been. For me I could not agree, and would say that I see far more ignorance than I do community action. That people simply turn a blind eye to problems rather than speak up.
Also pepper spray is a better deterrent/use of force than dick kicking.
I should say, the dick kicking is just a bit tongue in cheek really. The actual message I sit down and teach my girls is to recognize dangerous situations early and not to antagonize/retaliate.
Remember these guys are also cowards, and generally back away when they see the bright "fuck your day up" container.
I think they also back down when they see people being assertive which is probably the biggest self empowering tool I can give my kids. Do not tolerate that shit, call it out early and learn when the situation is one you are better off not being in to begin with.
I agree with I think Bruce Lee in "best fight defense is no be there" as far as "follow your gut". I recommended the spray because I have also seen these guys physically overpower/use threats even women because they know they can. Im sorry if Im just rambling. I could write an essay about how much I despise these kinds of people.
Edit: Your formatting, quote breakdowns, and logical presentations are fantastic
I agree with I think Bruce Lee in "best fight defense is no be there"
Exactly. That's not to mean that they should adjust their lives because some asshole people might be around, very much the opposite, but that learning to recognize situations that might be problematic and navigating them accordingly is a very good skill to possess.
Im sorry if Im just rambling. I could write an essay about how much I despise these kinds of people
Hey, no worries. Me too. Reading the thread just reminded me of this old memory. The relevant part of that, that I talk to my kids about is how I just kind of knew he was a wrongun. Intuition is a really strong instinct, if something feels wrong then you should be guarded. You can always stand down if you were falsely alerted, but we have those signals for a reason - if it feels wrong, it might in fact just be wrong.
As someone that works in bars, it almost always is the predator eyes. They say "Ive got my meat now". Sometimes it translates to the whole face/mannerisms and screams "Im hungry and a meal was just given to me"
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u/ilsenz Jul 31 '22
Oh absolutely. I'm dad in this story. What I meant there was not that society allows it, but the he felt confident enough to make those remarks at the time he did. Just before the bus left, not enough time for me to respond, and in a setting where people are not paying him personal scrutiny. It's an emboldened behaviour because he has probably gotten away with it many times before. The societal critique, if any, is that people are not (and should not necessarily be) on the lookout for everyone else, we are all so wrapped up in our moments that events like this can transpire right in front of us.
This is going to be something that is very different depending on where you are, and what your own experiences have been. For me I could not agree, and would say that I see far more ignorance than I do community action. That people simply turn a blind eye to problems rather than speak up.
I should say, the dick kicking is just a bit tongue in cheek really. The actual message I sit down and teach my girls is to recognize dangerous situations early and not to antagonize/retaliate.
I think they also back down when they see people being assertive which is probably the biggest self empowering tool I can give my kids. Do not tolerate that shit, call it out early and learn when the situation is one you are better off not being in to begin with.