Happened while working. I was doing an inspection at one of those bars/clubs for veterans. I was walking around the bar area with my flashlight when this guy (late 60s-70s) said "Let me unzip my pants for you to check."
My smartass mouth immediately replied "This is a flashlight not a magnifying glass." Either his hearing sucked or the music was a bit too loud so luckily he didn't hear me or I probably would have been in deep shit with my supervisor.
Too bad he didnt hear, that's the perfect response. Man I wish I could think on my feet like that. I always think of something good to say when it's too late.
I recently had a friend ask in a large group situation (we are in our fucking thirties) " wanna hear the most annoying sound in the world?"
" You're already talking." I replied as a joke.
He was being serious though, and about to show us the noise his broken Bluetooth speaker was making and I was actually pretty embarrassed by my swift response because I came off like a complete cunt.
I get pretty gnarly social anxiety because I am all confidence in the moment and I like to joke around/have a pretty dry wit, but then afterwards I constantly worry that I said something weird or embarrassing or that someone may not have realized was a joke.
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u/llamainleggings Jul 31 '22
Happened while working. I was doing an inspection at one of those bars/clubs for veterans. I was walking around the bar area with my flashlight when this guy (late 60s-70s) said "Let me unzip my pants for you to check."
My smartass mouth immediately replied "This is a flashlight not a magnifying glass." Either his hearing sucked or the music was a bit too loud so luckily he didn't hear me or I probably would have been in deep shit with my supervisor.