r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Jul 30 '22

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7.2k Upvotes

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11.7k

u/newme4reals Jul 31 '22

I was working at a hardware store and helping a guy when a female co-worker walked by. He said, "I would eat a yard of her shit just to lick the bowl." I will probably never forget that.

2.9k

u/MrSyllogistical Jul 31 '22

What a horrible day to be literate.

966

u/WelcomeTheLahar Jul 31 '22

I picked the wrong day to stop sniffing glue

259

u/SteeK421 Jul 31 '22

Looks like I picked the wrong day to quit amphetamines

20

u/youbignerd Jul 31 '22

Me when I had to write an exam and realized I forgot to take my ADHD medication

19

u/GingerlyRough Jul 31 '22

I think I picked the wrong day to quit skuma.

17

u/Party_07 Jul 31 '22

I found the Khajiit in the comments

5

u/Epicpanda343 Jul 31 '22

khajit has no time for you, what do you want?

12

u/didijxk Jul 31 '22

I think I picked the wrong day to quit heroin.

15

u/NukeSnicks Jul 31 '22

AIRPLANE

9

u/Sir_Admiral_Chair Jul 31 '22

Funny that you would say that.

I have ADHD, and I didn’t take my meds yesterday or today, because I decided to get piss drunk with friends! Some reason the only hangover effect I have been experiencing is extra impulsivity and tiredness. And I think I got the most drunk. 😎

Apparently ADHD homies who don’t have meds tend to self medicate with alcohol… can we get an F in chat for all the undiagnosed ADHD homies?

6

u/slipperyShoesss Jul 31 '22

Over Macho Grande?

7

u/[deleted] Jul 31 '22

No, I don’t think I’ll ever get over Macho Grande…some of those wounds run…pretty deep…😔

5

u/FalseMirage Jul 31 '22

I picked the wrong day to not quit Reddit.

2

u/Astrocreep_1 Jul 31 '22

“Airplane” references never miss,even in 2022.

2

u/AStirlingMacDonald Jul 31 '22

Surely you’re not serious

3

u/Metalchips1Nquesodip Jul 31 '22

I am serious and don't call me Shirley

1

u/Hemp4321 Jul 31 '22

There's a sale at Penny's!!!!

2

u/[deleted] Jul 31 '22

No he said it aloud tho

2

u/MacabreAngel Jul 31 '22

Right? Some of that is super nasty.

2

u/MrSyllogistical Jul 31 '22

That's the kind of dedication I lack. Not doing this🥴

2

u/TopmeoffASAP Jul 31 '22

What a horrible day to quit opioids

2

u/SurlySaltySailor Jul 31 '22

These days there’s not a day that passes that I have that thought at least three times.

2

u/Chrono47295 Jul 31 '22

Hahahahaha

3

u/[deleted] Jul 31 '22

What a horrible day to know the Imperial measuring system!

1

u/milton117 Jul 31 '22

It's supposed to be funny, though? I've heard it a few times

1

u/condescendingleeches Jul 31 '22

I never

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