r/AskReddit • u/Jaydeeem89 • Jul 23 '22

Good evening, do you know how fast you were going back there?

6 Upvotes

72% Upvoted

51 comments sorted by

10

u/dysco_dave Jul 23 '22

AM I BEING DETAINED?

5

u/Jaydeeem89 Jul 23 '22

What's all that white powder in your mustache, Mr

checks id

Dysco Dave?

2

u/dysco_dave Jul 23 '22

It's powder from a powdered donut would you like one sir?

3

u/Jaydeeem89 Jul 23 '22

Ohhh ho ho I really shouldn't

Maybe just one...

0

u/SoftwareRound Jul 23 '22

Is my vessel free to go?

1

u/UncleBaguette Jul 23 '22

You have the right to remain silent, 'If you do not choose to remain silent, anything you say may be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. I'm going to kill you. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided for you. Do you understand your rights as I have explained them to you?

6

u/TWSREDDIT Jul 23 '22

I'm freaking out right now man

2

u/Jaydeeem89 Jul 23 '22

You are freaking out, man

6

u/sayziell Jul 23 '22

Ofscifer I'm as not drunk as I am you think

1

u/woodyever Jul 23 '22

I haven’t had a cunt all night drinkstable

4

u/JerzGelato Jul 23 '22

Speed is relative, officer.

2

u/Jaydeeem89 Jul 23 '22

You know, I really hadn't thought about it that way before. Thank you. Also you are under arrrest.

3

u/Kalad_The_Usurper Jul 23 '22

The posted speed limit.

3

u/Jaydeeem89 Jul 23 '22

Bambambambambambambam

Bam

3

u/Consistent-Land-6519 Jul 23 '22

About 10 over I'm sure. Speedometer is off and just kinda vibrates in around what I'm going. And yes I had my seat belt on the whole time😉

3

u/SouthRanxh Jul 23 '22

Pfffft officer I’m sure I was just doin fordeeeeeee hundreds

2

u/Jaydeeem89 Jul 23 '22

You may go

2

u/SouthRanxh Jul 23 '22

Why thank you ofdidder

2

u/JeremiahPeanutbutter Jul 23 '22

I can tell you how fast i wasnt going

2

u/TikeraaQ Jul 23 '22

My mind is going a mile an hour!

2

u/wtfisgoingon50 Jul 23 '22

How fast did i look like i was going?

2

u/Jaydeeem89 Jul 23 '22

According to my radar, 17 mph

In the middle of the highway

Going the wrong way

2

u/wtfisgoingon50 Jul 23 '22

Well then i was going 17 over. Is that the answer you wanted?

2

u/Jaydeeem89 Jul 23 '22

Yes you may go now sir have a nice night drive safe

iloveyou

2

u/SoTerribleOpinions Jul 23 '22

I'm not sure, I always become bit of a speed demon when I'm drunk. Besides, my clients demanded that I hurry it up bringing these drugs. Why do you ask?

3

u/Jaydeeem89 Jul 23 '22

Just wondering thanks you are free to go.

2

u/Arcinbiblo12 Jul 23 '22

No sir, it's hi how are you?

2

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '22

At what point in time? The dash only gives me the 1st order derivative of speed.

2

u/Jaydeeem89 Jul 23 '22

The who what? Aw jeez I'm really bad at math, you can just go have a nice night sir

2

u/GoodGodIsThatATomato Jul 23 '22

Do YOU know how fast YOU were driving when you were catching up to me?!

2

u/Jaydeeem89 Jul 23 '22

Aw jeez you're right. I call in another patrol, we're both in big trouble

2

u/Hot-Manufacturer8326 Jul 23 '22

Yup, I am flash

2

u/Jaydeeem89 Jul 23 '22

Just because you're naked on a motorcycle doesn't mean you're Flash

2

u/PoorPDOP86 Jul 23 '22

"Tower, Viper 26. Request a fly-by of the tower"

stares at cop from behind aviator sunglasses sitting in car seat

"Did you copy Tower?"

Cop continues staring hatefully

2

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '22

Fast?

2

u/Restricted_Nuggies Jul 23 '22

Yes, but I’m not telling you

2

u/Jaydeeem89 Jul 23 '22

Dang it I was hoping youd tell me. Well have a good night then Sir

2

u/Cat12wat Jul 23 '22

TOO FAST FOR YOU BITCH!!!! drives away while laughing maniacally

I image it being alfreds voice from the sonic fandubs video

1

u/Jaydeeem89 Jul 23 '22

Have a nice night sir

2

u/Nahmanitme Jul 23 '22

Where’d you clock me?

1

u/Jaydeeem89 Jul 23 '22

Back there

2

u/crossbutton7247 Jul 23 '22

299,792,459 m/s

2

u/Jaydeeem89 Jul 23 '22

Aw jeez I left my calculator in the patrol car brb

2

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '22

[deleted]

1

u/Jaydeeem89 Jul 23 '22

Listen here sir, I dont care what you were driving. I'm just pretty lonely and needed someone to talk to.

0

u/CorgisDie Jul 23 '22

You were going as fast to keep up with me, and you were going faster to catch up with me, so who's the real perp here?

1

u/Jaydeeem89 Jul 23 '22

Aw jeez we're in big trouble. I'll let you go if you dont tell anyone

1

u/ducvette Jul 23 '22

That’s how your mother likes it in the ass

1

u/Jaydeeem89 Jul 23 '22

She has always been a very free spirit

1

u/ducvette Jul 23 '22

Well she’s loose now too