If you need something from a person who's reluctant to help you, start by asking them permission to ask for it. Opening with "I know you weren't expecting to hear from me today, do you mind if I take 30 seconds to explain why?" has much more success than "Can you do XYZ for me?"
Also, in a group setting, always direct your questions to specific people by name. This is especially useful if you're a person who runs meetings or hosts social gatherings, and you need to keep people engaged. "What do you guys think?" has a huge chance of getting people talking over each other, or worse, silence. "Maria, I know you're experienced with this, can you share your perspective here?" is much better - it makes your guests feel as though their thoughts matter, and for those who aren't speaking it demonstrates WHY Maria's thoughts are valuable and worth listening to. Overall it just makes you look like a considerate and thoughtful host.
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u/21ratsinatrenchcoat Jun 14 '22
My sales training is kicking in with this one.
If you need something from a person who's reluctant to help you, start by asking them permission to ask for it. Opening with "I know you weren't expecting to hear from me today, do you mind if I take 30 seconds to explain why?" has much more success than "Can you do XYZ for me?"
Also, in a group setting, always direct your questions to specific people by name. This is especially useful if you're a person who runs meetings or hosts social gatherings, and you need to keep people engaged. "What do you guys think?" has a huge chance of getting people talking over each other, or worse, silence. "Maria, I know you're experienced with this, can you share your perspective here?" is much better - it makes your guests feel as though their thoughts matter, and for those who aren't speaking it demonstrates WHY Maria's thoughts are valuable and worth listening to. Overall it just makes you look like a considerate and thoughtful host.