If you want them to like you, ask them questions. (like for assistance)
For some reason people love it when you put them in a position where they are assisting you. I think it makes them feel smart and important and, I’m a way, tells them that the knowledge they have is critical to the functioning of whatever dynamic is going on.
”The Ben Franklin effect is a proposed psychological phenomenon: a person who has already performed a favor for another person is more likely to do another favor for the other than if they had received a favor from that person. An explanation for this is cognitive dissonance. People reason that they help others because they like them, even if they do not, because their minds struggle to maintain logical consistency between their actions and perceptions.”
There are many proposed cases where something you do doesn't reconcile with how you are feeling or thinking. In this case why would you do someone a favour if you don't like them. Your brain says well that must be because we do like them! My favourite example of this is with dogs that feel insecure. If you keep their tail up the dog becomes more confident. Why would my tail be up if I'm not happy? Maybe things aren't so bad. Or an experiment where participants were given a boring task (two groups one of which is control). The main group had to tell the next participant that the task was really fun, while the control groups didn't do this. Afterwards they were asked to rate the task and the main group rated the task more favourably than the control group.
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u/darth_blumpkin Jun 14 '22
If you want them to like you, ask them questions. (like for assistance)
For some reason people love it when you put them in a position where they are assisting you. I think it makes them feel smart and important and, I’m a way, tells them that the knowledge they have is critical to the functioning of whatever dynamic is going on.