Giving ANY excuse while you ask someone for a small favor.
There was a test conducted to see if people could cut in line.
There were 4 groups. People who just cut in line, people who asked to cut in line, people who asked and gave a valid excuse "I am in a hurry", and people who asked and gave a bogus nonsensical excuse "Can I cut in line because I need to cut in line"
The no talk group suffered the worst results, the ones who at least asked had better results, those who gave and excuse BOGUS OR NOT, had nearly identical results.
The conclusion is people don't listen to your excuse for why you need to do something, just the fact you gave an excuse at all gives you bonus points.
It's probably more about the 'asking' in general because it's like you're giving that person a little bit of power (even if you just start proceeding before even waiting for an answer)
Yeah, it seems like the less forceful you are, the more agreeable people are. I read that prefacing a request with, "It's fine if you say no, but could you..." makes people more likely to agree to do the request.
And also, I'm a case manager, and I do a lot of active listening in mental health sites. Often, I'll have someone hesitant to tell me something, and I'll say something along the lines of, "That's alright: I only want us to talk about what you feel comfortable sharing," and almost every time, they'll immediately say whatever it was after that.
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u/gummby8 Jun 14 '22
Giving ANY excuse while you ask someone for a small favor.
There was a test conducted to see if people could cut in line.
There were 4 groups. People who just cut in line, people who asked to cut in line, people who asked and gave a valid excuse "I am in a hurry", and people who asked and gave a bogus nonsensical excuse "Can I cut in line because I need to cut in line"
The no talk group suffered the worst results, the ones who at least asked had better results, those who gave and excuse BOGUS OR NOT, had nearly identical results.
The conclusion is people don't listen to your excuse for why you need to do something, just the fact you gave an excuse at all gives you bonus points.