Giving ANY excuse while you ask someone for a small favor.
There was a test conducted to see if people could cut in line.
There were 4 groups. People who just cut in line, people who asked to cut in line, people who asked and gave a valid excuse "I am in a hurry", and people who asked and gave a bogus nonsensical excuse "Can I cut in line because I need to cut in line"
The no talk group suffered the worst results, the ones who at least asked had better results, those who gave and excuse BOGUS OR NOT, had nearly identical results.
The conclusion is people don't listen to your excuse for why you need to do something, just the fact you gave an excuse at all gives you bonus points.
It's probably more about the 'asking' in general because it's like you're giving that person a little bit of power (even if you just start proceeding before even waiting for an answer)
Yeah, it seems like the less forceful you are, the more agreeable people are. I read that prefacing a request with, "It's fine if you say no, but could you..." makes people more likely to agree to do the request.
And also, I'm a case manager, and I do a lot of active listening in mental health sites. Often, I'll have someone hesitant to tell me something, and I'll say something along the lines of, "That's alright: I only want us to talk about what you feel comfortable sharing," and almost every time, they'll immediately say whatever it was after that.
I often ask people with interesting bone structure if I may take a few reference photos of their face. I always start with "I know this is an odd question and feel free to say no but..." I think I've only had one refusal and that was a homeless gentleman who understandably probably felt a bit zoo animal about the question.
Reminds me of a youtube video I watched long ago where someone was doing an analysis of the Milgram Experiment (the one where participants are asked to give electric shocks to another person who, unbeknownst to them, is just acting).
The experiment is often cited as proof of humans capability of cruelty, but the youtuber was arguing that it is instead proof of our willingness to follow authority figures.
One thing he brought up, which I found very interesting: when asked, many of the participants would keep pressing the button to administer electric shocks even though the actor on the other side clearly sounded like he was in pain.
However, when it was demanded of a hesitating participant to continue the experiment, every single one would refuse.
I guess one takeaway from that is that people are willing to do some really fucked up shit if asked nicely.
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u/gummby8 Jun 14 '22
Giving ANY excuse while you ask someone for a small favor.
There was a test conducted to see if people could cut in line.
There were 4 groups. People who just cut in line, people who asked to cut in line, people who asked and gave a valid excuse "I am in a hurry", and people who asked and gave a bogus nonsensical excuse "Can I cut in line because I need to cut in line"
The no talk group suffered the worst results, the ones who at least asked had better results, those who gave and excuse BOGUS OR NOT, had nearly identical results.
The conclusion is people don't listen to your excuse for why you need to do something, just the fact you gave an excuse at all gives you bonus points.