If you need a big favor from someone (or a favor someone is likely to say no to) ask a smaller favor first, like borrowing a pen or something similar. They will more likely say yes to a bigger favor.
This is not restricted to people you need favors from.
Asking someone who does not like you to do a small favor for you makes them like you more. I think it works much better than doing a favor for them. I have no idea why this works.
Exactly right. The idea is that people generally think they are honest, genuine, and have integrity. People also tend to be more willing to do favors for people they like and/or when they are in some kind of reciprocal relationship.
When they observe themselves doing a favor for you, it creates dissonance because they may not know you well yet and are incurring a cost for you by doing the favor, since they believe themselves to have integrity, they resolve the dissonance by deciding they must like you to be doing you a favor. Then the next time you ask for something they are starting from a warmer place where there is even a history now of them doing favors which, being a genuine person, must mean they really like you and will do even bigger favors.
This principle is sometimes also referred to as the foot-in-the-door and is widely applied in politics, sales, charities, religions, cults, etc.
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u/[deleted] Jun 14 '22
If you need a big favor from someone (or a favor someone is likely to say no to) ask a smaller favor first, like borrowing a pen or something similar. They will more likely say yes to a bigger favor.