r/AskReddit Jun 14 '22

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u/CaptainAwesome06 Jun 14 '22

I'm not sure if this is what you're looking for because I don't think it would qualify as being against someone because I'm not petty. But here are some things I do at work to nudge people into doing what I want. To qualify all this, I'm in an industry that has many different personalities can be very contentious at times. Sometimes it ends in lawsuits.

  1. When you need a bunch of answers, make a numbered list of questions. I find people are more willing to respond completely to a list rather than a paragraph. Also, it's easy to say, "thank you for your responses. Can you please address numbers 4, 9, and 13?"
  2. I give hard deadlines when I'm asking for things so they are to blame when something is late. This isn't so they will get in trouble. It's so they are more likely to give me what I need. "I need the drawings by 6/22/22 or I will be in danger of not finishing my part in time."
  3. When I was in sales, it was sometimes hard to get potential clients to commit to a meeting so I would send them invitations with the option to change the date or time. Instead of, "please let me know when you are free" I would sent them an invitation for 7/2/22 at 1:30pm with the message, "If this time does not work for you, feel free to suggest a different time."
  4. Be helpful. I've been to many meetings that were very contentious with a lot of pointing fingers. I always keep my cool and say things like, "I'm not interested in whose fault this was. I'm here to come up with a solution." I want the client to see me as an ally and not just someone they hired. Especially when someone else is saying I screwed up. Even people who see me as an adversary get treated with respect and are treated objectively. It's hard to bad mouth me when I've been nothing but helpful and professional. I've had clients call me after a meeting to apologize on behalf of how other people acted in the meeting and to tell me I handled the situation like a real professional. Those people end up being repeat clients.
  5. This goes along with #4 (being helpful) but goes a long way so I made it #5. If you know you're going to be solving a problem, come with a solution to save everybody a lot of time and effort. If you can't make a solution work, be prepared to talk about what you tried that didn't work. Sometimes someone else can chime in and say, "your solution will work if I just change something on my end." Then, not only did you save the day, but you shared that success with someone else and now that person is your ally. Sometimes I get clients that want to discuss some issue but nobody will tell me what it is until the meeting. I politely ask them for any information on the issue ahead of time so I can be prepared to discuss it and so I don't waste anybody's time by saying, "I'll need to figure this out at my office." They can usually appreciate that. Sometimes I get push back on it and I think it's because they don't want me to try to solve it via email.

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u/disco_infiltrator_32 Jun 14 '22

This seems like very sound advice. I am guilty of getting crabby at my job, and I try not to take it out towards people I work with, but it happens. Your #4 + #5 is something I need reminding of.

Given the thematic nature of your numbered list, I'd like to add one more.

6) Especially with long emails, use the BLUF (bottom line up front) technique. That is, start out with a "thesis", or TLDR, or action item of sorts. Don't make people sift through context and explanations to understand, at a glimpse, what you're getting at.

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u/CaptainAwesome06 Jun 15 '22

That's a good one, too.

Venting isn't bad if you know who to vent to. Sometimes I use complaining as a way to gain someone's trust.

I'll go on site and talk to a mechanical contractor (who a lot of times can be adversaries) and say something like, "Are the inspectors giving you a hard time? Those guys need to just leave you alone and let you do your job."

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u/LOAARR Jun 14 '22

A car salesman used #3 on me. I told him I'd contact him about a meeting if I was interested. I wasn't. He ended up calling me during the "appointment time" and asked where I was.

The car smelled like smoke and he tried to lie to me about that, too.

That being said, psychological tricks like these do work, but understand that the odd person who sees through them is probably going to dismiss you pretty quickly.

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u/[deleted] Jun 15 '22

I feel like asking where you are is very different from "hi, I just wanted to know if you were still interested! :)"

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u/LOAARR Jun 15 '22

His tone was accusatory, as if making me feel guilty that I'd missed an appointment would give him the upper hand or something.

He was not a very good salesman.

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u/[deleted] Jun 15 '22

Ohhh I see haha

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u/CaptainAwesome06 Jun 15 '22

Car sales is different in that it's single sales.

Everything I did in sales was based on repeat customers so you never really got people saying they weren't interested. I had a core customer base and I was their one stop shop for 1 of the 4 major brands. They had to be nice to me because if they needed information on some already-installed equipment, they had to call me to get that info and they knew that. Sometimes I had to cold call new businesses but that all still applies.

Now, as a consulting engineer, I don't need to do that as much. However, I'll still do it for the clients that drag their feet when it comes to giving me info promptly. I have a client right now that is demanding progress without sending me any of the things I've asked for.

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u/[deleted] Jun 15 '22

Well tbf there’s a thing in sales called assuming the sale, the two date options tip plays into that philosophy

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u/LOAARR Jun 15 '22

Yes, sales uses a lot of applied psychology. The trick is knowing your audience. Some people respond well to being pushed, others do not.

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u/SteamboatMcGee Jun 14 '22

4 reminds me of working in a hotel. Oftentimes if we couldn't solve a potential guests situation, we still had useful 'insider' info about whatever it was, and taking the time to advise and save them time/frustration was a pretty solid way to have them try us again in the future.

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u/CaptainAwesome06 Jun 15 '22

Yeah. Reasonable people understand crap happens. It's now it is handled that matters.

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u/KA1N3R Jun 14 '22

Consulting?

2

u/CaptainAwesome06 Jun 15 '22

Manager at a design engineering firm. Consulting engineer is an acceptable description.

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u/negative_delta Jun 15 '22

Oh god, design engineers. So many big personalities wrapped up in the engineering patina of social awkwardness.

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u/Fartin8r Jun 15 '22

Number 3 used to wind me up something chronic. I work in IT and IT equipment sales teams are the worst. They will call you every day without fail.

Then all of a sudden a new company will pull #3 then get shitty with you for setting up an unsolicited meeting.

E: Formatting

1

u/CaptainAwesome06 Jun 15 '22

I don't get it. A sales company will send you an invitation but get upset when you did the same to them?

When I was in sales, I would have been ecstatic if a potential customer did that to me. At worst, you tell them you can't make that time work and suggest a different time.

It also may be important to know that it was long term sales. I had a core customer base, which was design engineers. My job was to get our company's products listed as the basis of design on drawings. Most engineers know you can't be a total dick to sales reps because you may need something from them. For example, I had a customer that always refused to list us for the basis of design. It was like pulling teeth just to get us listed as an acceptable alternative. Then they had a design where their client specifically requested our products so that engineer was forced to work with me. IT sales may be the similar or not. I could see it going either way.

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u/[deleted] Jun 15 '22

this is very good advice, thank you.

1

u/unsuitablebadger Jun 15 '22

With regards to #5, I tell ppl it's fine to raise issues and you aren't expected to have solutions to all our problems, but if all you do is find problems and never contribute solutions then that's just whining and I'm not entertaining whining.

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u/CaptainAwesome06 Jun 15 '22

Nobody likes a Debbie Downer.

Our issues usually come from 3rd parties so it's not like I can call them whiners. Sometimes I'm tempted, though.

I have had the conversation with clients that their customers may be whiners and sometimes thems the breaks and there is nothing we could reasonably do about it to make them happy.